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All the funny shit that happens in your younger years.
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There has been some funny shit happen in my elementary and middle school years. There was this kid, who was a pretty big jackass that decided one day he was going to fuck with the special ed kid. He goes up and starts making fun of him, and poking him and stuff like that. The kid tells him to knock it off, but the jackass completely ignores him. The special ed kid calmly goes over to the whiteboard, grabs the cleaning spray and gives him a direct shot right in the eyes. He ran out of the room screaming clutching his face and got to be the test dummy of our schools new eye rinsing station.
The other thing that stands out in my mind is the time the tempermental diabetic kid climbed 2 storys onto our schools roof. The whole 8th grade was in on it and we had the plan for one kid to go distract the teacher and 2 others to hoist him up. He gets up there and starts throwing down all the lost balls and hacy sacks that had accumulated. By this time the entire playground was up on the field watching him, and the teacher started freaking. The kid was stoked until he heard that he had to pay 700 dollars for the fire department to get him down. When he heard that he broke down balling, and started yelling bad words at the lunch aid. Lucky for him we had very diligent lesbian janitors that had a ladder long enough to bring him down.
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When your high, you can do everything you can normaly, just as well. You just realize its not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.-Bill Hicks
And on the 7th day, God stepped back and said "There is my creation, perfect in every way....Oh dammit I left weed all over the place, now they will think I want them to smoke it. Now I'll have to create republicans.-Bill Hicks
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pretty good stories i remember back in the day every1 used to pull the shower things in the science lab (simular to ur eye rinser thing, but a shower).. 7 and 8th grade were the best though we used to do whatever u want, and u think back on it, and it all means nothing, its great
East Coast = Right Coast. Ski Jersey. Mt.Snow-VT-USA :::: NS-who have you hated on today?
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in 8th grade a kid got pissed at a kid and puched his ass, then he threw a tray of film developing chemicals in his face. he had to wash his eyes out got like 40 mintues
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^That is some funny shit right there.
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When your high, you can do everything you can normaly, just as well. You just realize its not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.-Bill Hicks
And on the 7th day, God stepped back and said "There is my creation, perfect in every way....Oh dammit I left weed all over the place, now they will think I want them to smoke it. Now I'll have to create republicans.-Bill Hicks
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oh my god that burns. photo chemicals are NOT freindly to the eyes.
kinda like when these fuckers used to jump up and knock out ceiling tiles off the drop ceiling.
there was an announcement on a friday, we'd gone trhough 79 in a week. so they knocked down 21 more.
somehow one was unbroken, so i picked it up and made my buddy run headfirst into it. it was fun.
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onec some girl in grade 8 climbed off onto the school roof and yelled that she was going to jump. also the same girl that threatened to kill herself with a plastic fork and carved her current crushes name into her thigh with a pin.
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In middle school durring lunch for some reason I dont know why but there was a bag of dog shit and one of my friends picked up the bag started swinging it around then flung it in the air and shit went everywhere. Some kids had poop land on them.
"Colorado is the dealer pushing freedies in the schoolyard. It's the gateway to western skiing, the portal that has transformed recreational skiers from Oregon to Vermont into life-long junkies." -Derek Taylor in Power Magazine
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Oh yeah i and i just remembered the kid that threw the shit is now a pro skier
"Colorado is the dealer pushing freedies in the schoolyard. It's the gateway to western skiing, the portal that has transformed recreational skiers from Oregon to Vermont into life-long junkies." -Derek Taylor in Power Magazine
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Mike Olenick
"Colorado is the dealer pushing freedies in the schoolyard. It's the gateway to western skiing, the portal that has transformed recreational skiers from Oregon to Vermont into life-long junkies." -Derek Taylor in Power Magazine
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oh and one funny thing that happened a couple years ago was that every year our neighborhood has an easter egg hunt in our park, and thers eggs everywhere and tons of kids, so me and a couple friends got some easter eggs and put dog shit in all of them. so like 10 kids got found dog shit in their easter eggs when they got home. and a couple kids almost ate it and there was a retarted person that got one and he like put it in his mouth but his mom saw what it was and like pulled it out. and we got fucked.
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oh yeah and this other time me and my friends were playin around with a water baloon launcher and this bitch neighbor girl came up and she was sayin stuff like "you stupids cant hit me" so for some reason she stayed there for like 10 minuites like a retard, and we couldnt hit her cause she had alot of time to dodge them, so we get 4 people to hold the launcher and 2 to pull it back and it stretched like 3 times as long as it normally does and we put a bigger baloon with just as much water as the normal baloons but since it wasnt stretched it would be alot harder to break. so we shoot it at her from like 70 ft away and it gets there like instantly and she had no time at all to dodge it and it knocked her over and tore her shirt off and she was bleeding a bit, and screaming "i cant breath!" and it turns out we broke like two of her ribs.
and its funny cause i was trying to convince everyone that we should put a rock in it that time,
and i gave the girls little brother a dollar to tell her dad i didnt do anything, so i was the only one who didnt get in trouble.
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It ain't funny to have chemicals in your eyes. Fuck man.
Well this is vaguely "funny" but this retarded boy in my class drove his scooter down a straight road, Suddenly he just SLAMS into the ground, his helmets visor went in his right eye. He just stood up and said "MY eyyyeeeeee..hurts a litttlleee." It's really crazy, but they managed to save his eye, it only hit the corner of the retina.
Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.
Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
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me and my friend used to cause shit back in the day in church. like we used to steal the keys to the handicapped lift and hide them, or sneak up the fireescapes and pop up behind the altar/organ during the service. and then in coffee hour afterwards wed steal all the good food, eat all of the donuts s t jhe sugar got us hyper, climb up onto the wondow ledges, that were like 10 feet off the ground, and yell things. we were maybe 6 or 7 but it was fucking fun. my favortic memory is when my friend for some reason climbed on top of a fridge in the sunday school room, and started hissing at people like a lizard, and no one could get him down. so the priest came to try and he almost got bit.
oh and once we got locked in another room w were fucking around in, and the priets had to come and get us out by kicking in the door, so it tore out the lock and shit. that priest was cool.
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Elementry:
there was an old guy that lived behind our school - he was poor as dirt and drunk all the time. anyways, he had a path that would lead him through the woods, across the playground and over to the corner store where he bought crackers. he walked over one day while we were on recess and fell flat on his face on the sidewalk.. poor old man - gym teacher helped him up.
some kid - he had real problems to begin with - found a used condom on our playground and picked it up.. he had no idea what it was - thought it was a baloon- i'll leave it at that. That same kid, I put a catepillar down the back of his shirt and he got a huge rash. there was another kid that ate sand.
Jr High:
in metal shop while the teacher was teaching other kids how to weld behind the curtain.. we had a metal fight.. that hurt.
We got a french student teacher fired because he swore at us.
Our gr. 8 science teacher turned out to be a pedophile and was charged convicted. In retrospect, we totally see it - he used to put his hands on boys shoulders all the time. He even invited a friend of mine to mow his lawn all summer at his cottage -- that where all the allegations took place.
I stole the final exam to the grade 9 exam and gave it to 2 of my friends who weren't going to pass.. they got excellent marks cause the exam was the same.
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Puttin the 'O' back in C untry
"I realize the filming is garbage, but we were 2 guys filming our buddy fuck a milf, trying not to get caught." -skiinsted
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umm about the only thing hilarious i remember is back in elementry is someone thought it would be funny to hold a pencil in someones chair with the point up. well a kid came in a sat down not seeing the person behind was holding a 8 inch pencil on the chair. it punctured throught his pants and went up his ass. he had ot go to the nurse and have her pull out the pencil from his ass. hmmm embarrasing for the kid eh, naked in front of the nurse with a pencil in ass fucking him
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that's a good one ^^
I remember a kid in grade 5 got stuck in his desk... they were the desks that had the chair attached via a bar on the side and there was a spot under the table to hld things like binders. anyways, he dropped his pencil, and to get it he reached under his desk -- but he didn't move his legs to the side and got wedged under... he started screaming. it was pretty funny
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Puttin the 'O' back in C untry
"I realize the filming is garbage, but we were 2 guys filming our buddy fuck a milf, trying not to get caught." -skiinsted
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some kid in my elem school pissed in the waterfountain right next to the nurses office
another one brought in 1000 dolla from his parents safe to donate so his class would win a pizza party
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-Ryan
what do you play? solitaire. i bet you would, and then whack off to a 12 yr old being ass raped with a big black cock whose owner was named brad.
-tweaks_rock_me
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3rd grade - told the teacher on multiple occasions that i didnt feel good and got to stay inside at recess and eat her animal crackers out of her desk. some girl peed her pants.
4th grade - class pet was a hamster and it got an ass tumor and died. it was in there a couple days dead before someone noticed there was maggots cralling through its eye socket.
6th grade - entire class hid in the coat closet before the teacher came back. when he went to the office to tell them the whole class was gone we all came out and sat at our desks making him look like a moron.
9th grade: health teacher would put movies on everyday and leave and go get mcdonalds so people just stopped showing up. i skipped 5 and a half weeks straight. then for the final... he went and got Mc D's and the whole class cheated and got perfect on the test.
my friend and i didnt feel like going to school one day but we were already there so we went out to my brothers van and we took a nap til 3rd period and woke up freezing so we took the cigartte lighter and tried warming out hands then my friend gets the idea to put ibuprofen on the red hot lighter and smoke filled the whole van. couple minutes later a teacher came out and told us to extinguish out joints and go back to class. we were like WTF whatever so we went into school and i had to take a dump so we went to the bathroom and then heard dogs barking... evidentally the teacher called the office and got the cops to come down and do a drug search so we sat in the shitters acting like we were taking shits and left again the next period
10th grade: propped the back gym doors open in school all the time to come in skating at like 1 in the morning. it was so nice cuz it was all smooth and there was a really nice 5 set in the math hall way.
eventualy we stole a master key from a janitor so we didnt need to. haha i still have it
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