Oh man. I got all you owned. I ve skied most of my life on the shittiest dump of crap in the Midwest. Literally nothing but ski clubs filled with lil wanna be cool snowboarders and stupid old farts. Here are just a FEW stories from this hell hole
Story one
Ok, this place blows right? Never have any good hits or rails, its always set up bad. Well, the one time, we get there, and to our amazement there is a pretty sick 55 ft table right in the middle of the park. We are pumped, cause this shit never happens at this hill. Well, we get on the lift, and no ones hitting it. But, every lil 6 year old on the hill is rolling the fresh lip. So from the chair, im yellin at lil kids to stop and blah blah blah. Well, when I get off at the top, there is some old dude, in rentals, jeans and a sweatshirt waiting for me. He comes up to me and TOTALLY goes off on how I cant talk to kids that way, and that they have just as much right to do whatever they want, blah blah blah. After hes done threatening me, I calmly explain that not only are they gonna wreck the jump, that someone obviously put some time into, but they are gonna get hit by someone actually hitting the jump. He’s still super pissed, and skis off with the words, “I have my eye on you, you say one more thing to my kids, and your GONE!� now im laughin by this point, and we decide to go check out this jump. Well, after sessionin it for a few hours, mr old dude comes up to me. Im like, ah shit, not again. Hes like, hey, you were right, im pretty stupid. My kids could really get hurt over here. Ill keep um off it. I was impressed that he actually did this, and thanked him, and skied off. A few minutes later, all the head groomers are out fixing the lip that all the little turd burgers had fucked up. Well, this same old dude, comes plowin down the hill, with his lil kid holding onto his pole. Hes heading straight for the jump, where all these dudes are. PLOWS right into um! Knocks the manager of the hill right on his ass! Damn I was bustin up. He then proceeded to get his pass clipped and was removed from the hill. Hahahaha.
Story two
On that same jump, same day, my snowboard buddy is linnin up to hit it. His board was fucked from urbans, so he had to straightline it from the top. We are all lined up, keeping kids outta the way. And hes flyin down the inrun. Right as hes at the lip, some lil 13 yr old snowboarder rides out onto the table. He sees him, and trys to stop. Hes slidin sideways, but goes straight off the lip, and lands right on hid back from about 10 feet up. We are all pissed, and go help him up. We ride down and find the kid, and just start SCREAMING at him. Our lil super gnar shred buddy kid, whose 14 and 80 lbs, starts getting in the kids face, threatin him and shit. I was tryin to keep a straight face, but the kid just started cryin his ass off (he was 14ish), and we told him we never wanted to see him in the park again, and left. Funny stuff.
Story three
We were all runnin a train on this one whale box. We are all up waitin to drop, and jst chillin. All of a sudden, im on my ass. WTF!?!?!? Some gapper dude, who looked a lot like matt Harvey with black hair, had freakin drilled me in a straight tuck. From what everyone could guess, he was goin about 40 mph. luckly for me, he hit low, and just took my legs out from under me. I get up, perfectly fine, and am like WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? And I see the dude layin there. Im like holy shit, you hit me? And hes like, ur yeah, I guess so, mybad. Dude, you coulda ruined me, why don’t you get the hell out of the park til you can learn to ski? And then he ran (skied) away.
Story four
So I was judging this one big air comp. it was a sick jump, but it was dumping, and there was a strong headwind. Everyone who was smart didn’t bother to enter. Well, the snowboarders could NOT clear it cause of the wind. Well, this one kid drops in. you can tell hes goin WAY too slow. We are all waving him off, and tryin to get him to stop. Well, he didn’t listen, and hit it. Got about 15 ft up, did a half back flip, and landed RIGHT at the halfway mark on the deck on his head, and bounced off and landed in the landing (this was a 65 footish jump!). when he hit, his head put a 6 inch dent in the hard ice on the deck. His ass bounced a good 30 ft from where he hit. It was crazy. He was aight, but it was still insane
Story five.
So our lil gnar shred buddy rogi (the 14 yr old, 80 lbs), is a pretty rad lil kid. At the time, he was rockin my old Oneil one piece. Super neon, crazy baggy on his scrawny ass. He had a bright orange condom res hat on and some fire lense a frames. Lil steez ball. So, were on the lift, and this gapper dude, prolly 18 or so, around 180lbs, is rockin a hat JUST like his. So he starts screamin: STOPP THIEF!!!! You stole my steez! Hes goin up to the kids face and everything and jst is rippin on him, all day. The dude is getting really pissed, and is telling him hes gona kick his lil ass, blah blah blah. Us, and all of this kids friends are totally bustin up by now, cause this dude is getting owned by a lil kid. So he says he doesn’t wanna go to jail for beating the poop outa a lil kid or something, and challenges him to some snowboard-off. Now, the park sucks nuts, with a few small rails, and a 15 ft table. First trick: cab 3. rogi stomps the piss outta it like it aint no thing. Other kid flails like shit, and skids out. Rogis laughin his ass off now too, and this dude is flaming mad. Next trick, do some cool shit on the one good rail, a lil 16 ft double barrel. Dude try to 50-50, slides off, and drills himself in the face. Rogi: sick ass nose press to pretzel out. Haha, by now the kid was a angry mess. After that he said fuck it and rode down to the lodge to lick his wounds. Funniest thing ive ever seen.
Haha, I have sooooo many more, but im tired ass fuck from typing all that shizit.
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