so once me and my crue where all chilling on the top of this tabletop, eating snacks and drinking pop. we where all set up, we had lawn chairs and everything. all of the sudden, three patrollers come to investigate, like theres anything they can do to stop us. 'i dont be the barrer of bad news, but your breaking the rules by steaking out on that jump.' one of them said. 'i dont mean to be the barrer of bad news, but suck the skin off of my dick, you fucking faggot.' i replyed, with a sly grin on my face. the three skied off, towards the patroller hut. we continued chomping on handfuls of teddy grams, and taking large, but not life threatining sips of hot coa-coa. a few minutes later the patrollers came back, only two more where escorting them. 'okay sir, im going to ask you to get off of the tabletop one more time, i dont want to have to get physical.' i cute the patroller a deal. if he turned around and counted to seven, me and my homies would be off of the table and out of his sight. he fell for it. each and every patroller turned around and started counting to seven. luckly this gave me enough time to unzip my pants and spray my hot piss all over the bare neck of the patrollers. they started screaming like every day pillow biters. i then dove from the table top, the the group of five, knocking them all to thier feet. my main man threw me my snowboard from the table top, i caught it with ease, considering i am extremely athletic. one of the patrollers got up, i think he wanted to brawl. too late, with one swipe of my board, i slit his throat with the steel edges. before his hit the ground i swung at his nuts and split them in three. another patroller lept to his feet, he threw a massive karate kick in my direction, too bad for him i have extremly agile reflexces. i caught his foot, threw off his giant skiboot, grab his big toe and his baby toe and ripped his foot down the middle. splinters of bone flew everywhere, i then delivered a super fast spin kick to the side of his skull, knocking some prescious fluid out of his ears. i grabbed the third patroller by the eye balls, and broke his spine with my erect dick. i then pulled his head back and wedged it between his ass crack, and then kicked him in the ass so hard, that he broke his own neck with the use of his very own asshole. it was hilarious. all of my friends started chuckling. they started throughing teddy gram pieces at me, and i ate them, because teddy grams are yummy. i let the other two patrollers go. little did they know, i inserted the AIDES virus into there coffee earlier in the day.
so all and all, that was the best day of snowboarding i ever had.
your friend,
andy locher
