English is CRAZY

yeah we're silly bitches

Anyway, a gas station we pass. We got gas, and ran off to get grub.It was a nice little pub in the middle on nowhere. Anywhere woulda been better. I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em, Ali had the fruit punch.

french is wierd too. the movie "mouse hunt" in french was called " nous reveillons pas un souris qui dors" meaning we wont wake up a mouse thats sleeping.



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'
-Astomp17


My time is winding down.............just wait for it

^ lol my new sig

i was my dad was a dermatologist then he could tell me why i have big blood blisters all over my genetalia. im thinking it might be from last saturday where i got completely hammered and my and my friends had an orgy and there was a wire brush involved
-Lat

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

Teachers teach, preachers preach... easy that that.

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but were cool

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more like "my chemical GAY romance with a gay man"!-mommy

why do we park on driveways, drive on parkways, and fly on runways?

-teddy
team shed
The Lab

ya but in the past tense, it would be
'the preacher preached',
but not 'the teacher teached'?

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Eh who knows. I mean every other language in the world has things like these as well but English just has more of them, I'm guessing, that are common.

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Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between governmental departments. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written'f'. This would make words like'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expeketed to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. We would al agre that the horible mes of silent e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.

By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and everivun vud find it ezi tu understand esh ozer. ZE DREMS OF ZE GUVERNMENT VUD FINALI HAV KUM TRU!


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The law of conservation of consonants

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah", the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells".


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When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write.

Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright can be right.

Should Jim Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would copy Wright right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right.

Right?



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Do you suffer from uncontrollable urges to spin, jib and jump off random objects??? if so... we can help. join the "uncontrolable urges to spin off things... while wearing shoes cult" today!!

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.


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I think that people should of thought about what they were making words up for before making them up.

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"I wish I could speak Italish"

ha, those are good

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Yeah saran wrap and a couple of rubber bands and your set for some steamy hot, safe sex action. -Mike-O

im not crazy 'cause i take the right pills everyday

ya? english sucks

Member Number- 13302
eat.breathe.sleep.ski

i'm pretty sure hamurger comes from the city of Hamburg, and not from the word ham!

remember more than 60% of english words come from french (if you want examples...)

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ICH BIN DER SPRINGENDER TEUFEL

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a lot of those letters you omitted were very usefull in making the word sound right


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-Matt

It's gonna be a long four years...

NS SKATEBOARDERS