Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Jokes lets hear em

profile picture
Good_Deed
Posts: 1260 - Karma: 1,321
i would like to play basketball with 3 graders then i would feel like shaq and tall and blocking shit

Do it with Style
Aug 23 2005 12:54AM
0 0
profile picture
kyle_w
Posts: 6805 - Karma: 23
my dad made this one up. its stupid but gave me a good laugh cuz i was so amazed at his level of stupidity.

"what do you call a lesbian with 2 girlfriends?"

"a bush hog"

(a bush hog is like a lawnmower)

http://www.mp3players4free.com/default.as px?r=455475

DO THE CASINO TROPEZ OFFER! ABSOLUTELY FREE!



Aug 23 2005 1:06AM
0 0
profile picture
lowrider101
Posts: 160 - Karma: 9
^ ericpoll ladies and gentlemen

Aug 23 2005 1:06AM
0 0
profile picture
[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
what do you never want to call a black person that starts with N and ends with R?

Neigbor.


Why are black people so tall?

Because their Knee-Grows.

because I like poop.
Aug 23 2005 2:04AM
0 0
profile picture
VKarma185
Posts: 1162 - Karma: 12
^ouch haha
*what do you get when you cross a mexican and an octipus?
*i dunno but it's one hell of a pear picker

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Newschoolers.com: Have you hated on anyone today?
Aug 23 2005 2:07AM
0 0
profile picture
shea.
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 193
at the rugby the guy dropped the ball so the guy behind me said that the player had the ball skills of a lesbian

when the man has to take a piss he finds a bush. When a bush has to get some food it takes from the piss soaked soil around the bush, when man needs food he takes the bush and cooks that shit up. So if you think about it - all we do is eat our own piss.-Mike_hunt10

if it were easier it would be called snowboarding

i like the sticker that says " Ya mum rides a Snowboard"
Aug 23 2005 3:42AM
0 0
profile picture
NBCskier
Posts: 3877 - Karma: -289
whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby...

you dont jizz on an apple before you eat it.






SGB

Aug 23 2005 7:36AM
0 0
profile picture
skier27
Posts: 7238 - Karma: 32
a black kid, a white kid, and a chinese kid are all in kindergarden, who has the biggest dick??

the black kid, why?

because hes 27

___________________________
yeah i was masturbating once and my mom walked in on me and saw everything. it freaked me out when the door flew open and for some reason it scared my into cuming. so my mom saw me cum... _SimonFiller
Aug 23 2005 2:24PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
so this dude is sittin' in prison, and this big ass black guy walks over to him and says:

"you wanna be tha mommy, or tha daddy"

and the dude thinks to himself..

"ah fuck, if i choose the mommy, this guy is gonna fucking pound my ass and brutalize me"

so he makes up his mind and replies:

"i'll be the daddy"

and the black guy says:

"then come ova here and suck on mommys cock!!"


stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin
(dfp represent)


keep it real.
Aug 23 2005 2:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
what's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?







there's twenty of them


stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin
(dfp represent)


keep it real.
Aug 23 2005 2:47PM
0 0
profile picture
harlemcracka
Posts: 274 - Karma: 10
i've posted this before and its a really bad joke, but, here we go again


What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?













CANCER!!!!!!

powfoka-"i'm sooo emo my wrists slit themsleves..."
Aug 23 2005 2:50PM
0 0
profile picture
iseayoumt
Posts: 516 - Karma: 11
a pirate walks into a bar and there is a steering wheel on his crotch, the bartender says "why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch," the pirate replies...

"argh it drives me nuts."



-hannah
Aug 23 2005 2:57PM
0 0
profile picture
johanblaze
Posts: 4987 - Karma: 345
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Sep 14 2005 6:20PM
0 0
profile picture
crooks
Posts: 14693 - Karma: 786
haha

======================================



Sean

$ $ $ $ $ B O S T O N | B A C K C O U N T R Y $ $ $ $ $
Sep 14 2005 6:21PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
okay, so there is this bridge that is 100 m tall, and there are two people about to jump off of it. An aborigional canadian and an aborigional american. The canadian weighs 150 pounds, while the american weighs 200 pounds. The american is going against an updraft of 1 kmp/h, the canadian (lighter) is going with a downwind of 1 kmp/h. Now if they both jump at the same time, who wins
get out your calculators or scroll down for answer





















































































a: society

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~


If it aint gorilla, it aint steeze

Sheldon
act like you're going to kiss her then just lick all over her fuckn face - Parkboy
Sep 14 2005 6:30PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
how do you kill a fox?

cut off one leg and make it run accross canada

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~


If it aint gorilla, it aint steeze

Sheldon
act like you're going to kiss her then just lick all over her fuckn face - Parkboy
Sep 14 2005 6:32PM
0 0
profile picture
3ski6guy0
Posts: 9201 - Karma: 132
whats better than 7 dead babies nailed to a tree?? 1 dead baby nailed to 7 trees

--------------------------------
-Jon

go to jibij
Sep 14 2005 8:27PM
0 0
profile picture
awsomecoolguy
Posts: 3536 - Karma: 13
what do you call a dumb blond in a closet




















last years hide and seek winner


|--------------------|
> > > |SEXY TRUCK | '|""";.., ___.
> > > |_..._...______===|= _|__|..]|
> > > "(O)'(O)````|(O)(O)`````(O)

me: it seems like alot of bad stuff go's on in gandola's

henry:ya
henry:we should go in them
Sep 14 2005 8:33PM
0 0
profile picture
witty
Posts: 5616 - Karma: 178
whats the difference between a gay man and a priest?




the way they say ahhhhh men!

******************** witty cent is now live on stage!
Sep 14 2005 8:34PM
0 0
profile picture
scientist
Posts: 6920 - Karma: 348
whats better than a black boy?
a white boy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fomerly known as *huckster*
Sep 14 2005 8:35PM
0 0
profile picture
Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
whats harder than nailing a baby to a tree?





Nailing it to a puppy.










Whats the diffrence between Menstral Fluid and Sand?







I dont Gargle sand.







Whats Big and Yellow and Eats Grass?







A school bus. I lied about the grass








Whats black and Blue and Doesnt like sex?









The 12 year old locked in my basement.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-ThomSavery
please pardon the cacography.
CCR
PPP
DL.

"go down to the bottom bunk and finish yourself"
Sep 14 2005 8:44PM
0 0
profile picture
What
Posts: 1307 - Karma: 30
yeah thats a good one
but aboriginal american and aboriginal canadian?
that just dont make sense
i didnt know abbo's could afford a flight out of australia
so we're stuck with all of them


what?
Sep 14 2005 8:47PM
0 0
profile picture
marsland
Posts: 3150 - Karma: 421
Whats the difference between a sack of dead babies and a ferarri?













i dont have a ferarri

Sep 14 2005 8:51PM
0 0
profile picture
What
Posts: 1307 - Karma: 30
whats worse than 5 babies in a wheelbarrow?

1 baby in 5 wheelbarrows


how do you empty a trailer full of babies?

with a pitchfork


whats big and yellow and sits at the bottom of a pool?

a tractor

what?
Sep 14 2005 9:46PM
0 0
profile picture
rockymountainmilitia
Posts: 2706 - Karma: 12
whats worse the ericpoll's joke...




the return of dead baby jokes get this shit outta here. they are so last year.




Im RICK JAMES bitch
Sep 14 2005 11:35PM
0 0
profile picture
chugLIFE
Posts: 4714 - Karma: 1,050
what does a baby in a microwave look like??



























































i dunno, i was too busy jackin off

Ian Cosco formerly $MiniChugga$
"his cock his huge too. you can hear it slapping his ripped, tan abs in his naked backflip video"-mommy
Sep 15 2005 1:24AM
0 0
profile picture
C.R.420
Posts: 2441 - Karma: 28
whats the difference between a lesbian and a whale?

100 pounds an a flannel shirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, Lil' John.. Do you wanna go freeskiing?

O-KAAY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Cininnati Newschoolers,
good times.
Sep 15 2005 7:07AM
0 0
profile picture
espen^R
Posts: 2330 - Karma: 192
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."



Watched boogers never fall
Sep 15 2005 4:53PM
0 0
profile picture
ICompton
Posts: 718 - Karma: 10,301
whats the differents between a gay and a frig












the firg doesnt fart when u take the meat out..













whats the differnece between a gay and a micro wave












a micro wave doesnt brown your meat

do u know how i know your gay? cause u listen to cold play
Sep 15 2005 5:01PM
0 0
profile picture
sgray
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
Why dont sharks eat black people?







"They think there whale shit."

Sep 15 2005 5:08PM
0 0
profile picture
SnowKristaL
Posts: 637 - Karma: 15
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?


































Because he's black.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
Sep 15 2005 5:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Leckett
Posts: 0 - Karma: 13
whats more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?

stopping it with a shovel

NS SKATEBOARD
Sep 15 2005 5:45PM
0 0
profile picture
westnile
Posts: 372 - Karma: 10
THERES ALL READY A HUGE THREAD ABOUT THIS SEARCH FOR THE JOKE SPOT

Sep 15 2005 7:44PM
0 0
profile picture
jambone
Posts: 934 - Karma: 11
whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup.



















anyone can roast beef

Girls are evil:
Girls= $ times time
Time= $
Girls= $ squared
Money is the root of evil
Therefore girls are evil.

Using no poles is like getting a blowjob from a guy, it feels good until you look down and relize your a homo. -nomensteven
Sep 15 2005 8:14PM
0 0
profile picture
robbieA
Posts: 1371 - Karma: 30
why did the mexican student get pregnant?









cuz the teacher told her to do an essay

Sep 15 2005 8:16PM
0 0
profile picture
robbieA
Posts: 1371 - Karma: 30
wut did the muffler say wen he woke up




im exhausted

Sep 15 2005 8:18PM
0 0
profile picture
LJF
Posts: 457 - Karma: 30
Why do women have small feet?






So they can stand closer to the stove

Sep 15 2005 8:19PM
0 0
profile picture
LJF
Posts: 457 - Karma: 30
Why don't women wear watches?





There is a clock on the stove

Sep 15 2005 8:19PM
0 0
profile picture
robbieA
Posts: 1371 - Karma: 30
why did the woman cross the road

Sep 15 2005 8:20PM
0 0
profile picture
robbieA
Posts: 1371 - Karma: 30
who cars she shouldnt be outta the kitchen

Sep 15 2005 8:21PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
what the difference between a paki and a bucket of shit?









the bucket


stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

-Justin

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
Capital City Rider / DFP


keep it real.
Sep 15 2005 8:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Jedi-Junkie
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10
ok ok, two jedis walk into a bar

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU MY FELLOW NEWSCHOOLERS

lord of the rings rules!!!!!!

JEDI TILL THE GRAVE NUKKA

im baack
Sep 15 2005 8:22PM
0 0
profile picture
jksl
Posts: 12727 - Karma: 854
kind of the same thing:

why couldn't Helen Kellar drive?












because she was a woman

-Jeff
Sep 15 2005 8:25PM
0 0
profile picture
ryan.c
Posts: 6592 - Karma: 14
^WTF??????

______________________________________


-Ryan


what do you play? solitaire. i bet you would, and then whack off to a 12 yr old being ass raped with a big black cock whose owner was named brad.
-tweaks_rock_me
Sep 15 2005 8:31PM
0 0
profile picture
gaberaham
Posts: 640 - Karma: 17
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."


AK
Sep 15 2005 8:56PM
0 0
profile picture
k2yeags
Posts: 2320 - Karma: 27
how many women does it take to screw in a light bulb??




who cares! they can cook in the dark

- - - - - - - - - - boom
Sep 15 2005 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
What
Posts: 1307 - Karma: 30
what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?


kick her in the ass

what?
Sep 15 2005 9:48PM
0 0
profile picture
GDskier5
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
One day a little boy comes down for breakfast and asks his nanny where his parents are. Well they're still in bed she says, so the boy goes off laughing. He comes back in for lunch and the same question where are my parents? Well i guess they're still in bed, so the boy goes off laughing. He comes back in for dinner and once again he asks, Where are my parents? Well i suppose they are still in bed like they have been all day. The boy starts to walk off laughing but the nanny stops him this time and asks him what is always so funny. The boy gets a peculiar look on his face and says..."Last night at about 3 in the morning, my dad came in and asked me for the vaseline, I gave hime the superglue."
Nov 2 2005 9:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Celone
Posts: 1998 - Karma: 114
that one made me laugh so hard...i dont know why though
Jan 31 2008 1:38AM
0 0
profile picture
-Kieran-
Posts: 1009 - Karma: 12
thanks fucktard for resurrecting this 2 year old thread
Jan 31 2008 1:42AM
0 0
profile picture
pDails
Posts: 1238 - Karma: 75
hostile asshole...
Jan 31 2008 1:57AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)