Replying to Brother for sale--Pro skier

I am auctioning off my big brother here on NS. I ask a starting price of $25.50 Canadian. He can be useful for doing household jobs such as cleaning toilets, making meals, you know the so-called 'bitch' jobs. Some say he is a good skier, although I will leave it to you to judge. Clearly all your friends will be envious of you having this 'pro' skier as a personal slave. This is the deal of a lifetime, don't miss out. If you act now you can also get a complimentary 'ugly stick' to beat whom ever you choose. Let the bidding begin...