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Hippos, the deadly beast

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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
The hippopotamus causes more deaths than any other animal. These creatures are instruments of pure terror. Their incredibly powerful jaws filled with razor sharp fangs combined with excellent hearing, smell and sight make them perfect killing machines. I’m certain these monsters have a taste for blood and kill purely for sport as their diet consists of grass. Can you imagine gazing into a four foot maw lined with 28 inch incisors? If these fiendish brutes ate meat, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.


Evil. Plotting. Sinister.
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You don’t need fangs like this to eat grass.
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Staring death in its ugly face.
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This is the last thing you will see before you are ripped to shreds.
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Some people are trying to snowboard here!
Oh I get it. Sorry to ruin your day.
Jul 14 2005 11:11AM
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asac
Posts: 12485 - Karma: 17
i still want to hug one






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Good Fun With A Hand Gun

Sacadelic
Jul 14 2005 11:20AM
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SteveStepp
Posts: 9529 - Karma: 20,647
yea hippos can pretty much do whatever they want.
they rob banks and liquor stores like real easy

Yea. I said it.
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Steve Stepp


"My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one's the real hero?"
Jul 14 2005 11:21AM
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Capurnicus
Posts: 9947 - Karma: 1,886
Mmmmmmmmmmm. Hippo sandwhiches.

- Patrick·patproductions.com Looks like rain to me.
Jul 14 2005 11:21AM
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jksl
Posts: 12727 - Karma: 854
they also take old women's purses
no one's gonna try and stop them

-Jeff
Jul 14 2005 11:22AM
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hucker22
Posts: 6176 - Karma: 23
there cute

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive
if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion
your friends like a certain you
that's who you've got to be
Jul 14 2005 11:27AM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
i went to brooklyn and saw one doing a driveby in a stolen mini cooper.

Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it
Jul 14 2005 11:30AM
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SteveStepp
Posts: 9529 - Karma: 20,647
see, no one messes with them, because they know they will get rocked

hippo style

Yea. I said it.
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Steve Stepp


"My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one's the real hero?"
Jul 14 2005 11:36AM
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SkiUnit03
Posts: 3597 - Karma: 114
yeah i watched a thing on the animal channel about who would win in a fight a male hippo or a bull shark.
they said the hippo would win. and one of the reasons their so deadly is because they flip small fishing boats in african rivers then kill the fishers on the boats

yep its true




"collars up are officially gay, but layering 2 polo shirts is still acceptable"
-ATLANTASKI

"r u sayin we r being censored by da goverment?
fuck pussy dick suckin lip"
-bristolrider
Jul 14 2005 11:51AM
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WIllW
Posts: 4578 - Karma: 2,512
havent you seen congo, those things get mad

and that last pic it looks like they only have fang like teeth, wouldnt they need molars to chew grass?

_________________________________________ _
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Anything that makes snow deserves more respect than my mommy''- Giray
I HATE NY PRODUCTIONS
Jul 14 2005 11:54AM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
hahaha. some of the funniest writing ive read in a while. really cute thread, man. really cute.

did you know that a hippopotamus has the ability to bite a crocodile in TWO!?

Jul 14 2005 11:55AM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
Click for larger image
*artist's rendition of actual events.

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Some people are trying to snowboard here!
Oh I get it. Sorry to ruin your day.
Jul 14 2005 12:11PM
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USA
Posts: 2201 - Karma: 11
nice paragraph at the top, i really learned alot


" she's exactly 4 years younger than me. I am waiting for her to turn 19, then it's game for me."-Melvs on Emma Watson


also known as pussyfooter
Jul 14 2005 12:11PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
there ugly muther fuckers i can tell u that much

cant tell me shit about the tricks of this trade switch blade with a little switch to switch the switch blade switch from a 6 to 16 inch blade shits like a samarui sword a sensay

formally known as - garrettb


Jul 14 2005 12:13PM
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Forum*
Posts: 3455 - Karma: 10
I deffinatly use a hippo to rob a bank, they can break throguth walls, take bullets, and its a killing machine.

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- Matt*

Brent likes to do his women like his boots, rear-entry. eh Chauncy
Jul 14 2005 12:15PM
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iggyskier
Posts: 10447 - Karma: 10,018
BWAHAHAHAHA.

and yes...hippos will fuck you up. they can run up to something like 40 MPH. their jaws spread about 4 feet. they tear people apart.

Jul 14 2005 12:20PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
thats the best idea ever...tame it so u can ride it around and make it bite peoples heads off....then go to the ski store and make it take all the skis in his mouth

cant tell me shit about the tricks of this trade switch blade with a little switch to switch the switch blade switch from a 6 to 16 inch blade shits like a samarui sword a sensay

formally known as - garrettb


Jul 14 2005 12:22PM
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nut
Posts: 625 - Karma: 12
For how brutal hippos are, they can be very gentle lovers (as evidenced by the artist rendition above) .





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/ Y \
( ( )
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Jul 14 2005 12:23PM
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GhostfaceKillah
Posts: 3398 - Karma: 10
They also shit and wag their tail to spray it around to mark their territory!

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Member # 2038
Jul 14 2005 12:26PM
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DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
hippos and seacows = mans best friend



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'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
Jul 14 2005 12:27PM
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MissMontana
Posts: 971 - Karma: 42
i was in... some place that i dont remember... and i got to touch hippos in the wild. i was a little kid and i garuntee my parents were stoned out of their gourds so it probably was a horrible idea but they felt weird. sortof sharp but slimey at the same time.
this is all.

guy at SkiShop SC to me: "Why is there sand in your bindings?" "If you're alive, I probably hate you." -C. Francis Browning (my friend CeCe)
Jul 14 2005 12:33PM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
That's bullshit. You'd never be alive today.

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Some people are trying to snowboard here!
Oh I get it. Sorry to ruin your day.
Jul 14 2005 12:35PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
so ur parents were stoned out in the wild were hippos were?

cant tell me shit about the tricks of this trade switch blade with a little switch to switch the switch blade switch from a 6 to 16 inch blade shits like a samarui sword a sensay

formally known as - garrettb


Jul 14 2005 12:36PM
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GhostfaceKillah
Posts: 3398 - Karma: 10
kinda like a cats toungue?

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Member # 2038
Jul 14 2005 12:36PM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
Oh, the reason the reason trhe were slimey is because hippo has neither sweat nor sebaceous glands. They secrete a pink substance to cool down and to keep their skin moist like some sort of slicked up doom beast.

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Some people are trying to snowboard here!
Oh I get it. Sorry to ruin your day.
Jul 14 2005 12:41PM
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eastAR5
Posts: 15084 - Karma: 730
yea hippos are crazy. I saw this show on TV where they put this dummy in a raft and sent it down this river that had hippos in it, and like 20 seconds later it got smashed 10 feet into the air and was ripped to shreads in seconds

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east coast 617 617


hahahaha, fuck you bitch. your the epitamy of a fucking faggot trying to act hard when your soft like your moms cumbersome pussy. ill fuck her to the left and fuck her to the right, then write you a letter about how it was so tight, you fucking bitch faggot. - Apesteadlives
Jul 14 2005 12:49PM
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skogenjake
Posts: 6685 - Karma: 511
hippos MAY or MAY NOT have been the ones who flew the planes into the world trade center...







back to the original
Jul 14 2005 1:28PM
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*Fujative*
Posts: 8554 - Karma: 183
your a fag. hippos are sweet. they get scaried, so they attack. same with humans


Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
eat.breathe.sleep.ski
Jul 14 2005 1:33PM
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skogenjake
Posts: 6685 - Karma: 511
tell that to families of the firemen who died that day...




back to the original
Jul 14 2005 1:34PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
no wonder that guy locked himself in the bathroom

cant tell me shit about the tricks of this trade switch blade with a little switch to switch the switch blade switch from a 6 to 16 inch blade shits like a samarui sword a sensay

formally known as - garrettb


Jul 14 2005 1:35PM
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Badfish2
Posts: 3453 - Karma: 21
This had better become a weekly feature!!!

Jul 14 2005 1:37PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
holy fuck that last setance made me luagh


NUFF SAID
-winn
EPIC productions
TAOS, a four letter word for steep
Jul 14 2005 1:52PM
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Lanemeyers
Posts: 5007 - Karma: 19
I once had a dream that I rode one of these river horses high into the clouds. When I got off Jeffrey's back the inside of my jambs were bubble gum pink and I felt so sexual like I had been grinding up against a lukewarm aloe plant.

Commander of the Silent Army Viva La Resistance!
Jul 14 2005 1:53PM
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wdbo.
Posts: 4935 - Karma: 173
i think that there are logical way the explain the bad things that have happended to the human race in recent years as the hippos fualt

NUFF SAID
-winn
EPIC productions
TAOS, a four letter word for steep
Jul 14 2005 1:56PM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
i saw raw video footage of a gorilla slurping water from a drinking hole, only to have everything but his calves and feet bitten off by a hippo.

Jul 14 2005 2:01PM
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bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
^i saw that on the news, they had a helicopter view of teh car chase afterwords.

-kulpy-

gangsta raps lyrics are all the same, Someone gets shot, someones frontin, someones a wangsta, someones benchpressin, someones makin fried chicken, and the beans dont burn on the grill. You can see that shit in kentucky. Fuck the bronx, deep south bitches-scientist
Jul 14 2005 3:16PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
This is the most informative and enjoyable thread in a long time. Thank you, Maximumsushi.

Haven't you ever read Tarzan books? He's always fighting hippos.



Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex
Jul 14 2005 3:20PM
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Salomonman
Posts: 564 - Karma: 10
wow, i never relised that hippos were so badass, i kinda want to raise one and train to attack police cars

it wasnt me! it was the hippo!

Jul 14 2005 4:05PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
yea dude, u see me wave? as he drove by i went to give him a high five from the sidewalk and the little bastard just bit my arm off while going 100 mph.

Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it
Jul 14 2005 4:14PM
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levistewart
Posts: 3360 - Karma: 111
hippos are mean

Jul 14 2005 4:17PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
the good thing though is that we're now friends. we're actually gonna be in a blockbuster movie together. check it out

http://www.weddingcrash ersmovie.com/crashthistrailer/i ndex.htm?id=45565

Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it
Jul 14 2005 9:54PM
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twix_182
Posts: 9248 - Karma: 27
http://www.weddingcrashersmovie.com/crashthistrailer/index.htm?id=45565


Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face.....I'm gonna piss on it
Jul 14 2005 9:55PM
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KillerMonkey
Posts: 6436 - Karma: 109
is that hippo up there a necrophiliac, or is the guy still barely alive



Chris
Dave Murray's Session 4

Have a JIBARITO!
Jul 14 2005 10:03PM
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EastCoastPride
Posts: 11654 - Karma: 4,989
What has a hippo done for you lately?

That's right. Probably nothing.

Except PLAN TO DISMEMBER AND DEVOUR YOUR ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY!

-teddy
team shed
The Lab
Jul 14 2005 10:13PM
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jksl
Posts: 12727 - Karma: 854
Click for larger image

another artist's rendering of actual events

-Jeff
Jul 14 2005 10:37PM
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matthasaurusrex
Posts: 5160 - Karma: 185
ahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahah^

how long did that take you?

I wish I were a Llama
The Mauii HipppyCrew
"Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today. "
Jul 14 2005 11:27PM
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Forum*
Posts: 3455 - Karma: 10
So hippo's are naturally lubricated. I wish I had natural lubrication powers too......

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

- Matt*

Brent likes to do his women like his boots, rear-entry. eh Chauncy
Jul 14 2005 11:35PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
I saw this movie once, it was about a hipo and a rhino... in the wild its almost impossible to tell the two apart. The only way you can infact is to wathc very carefully and see which one starts fires. If its lighing stuff on fire, its a hipo. So this hipo was a major piro maniac, more so than the avrage hipo.. He just went around lighting shit on fire. Schools, Familys huts, Churches. This hipo was out of fucking control. And you know how Rinos are like Mother Natures firemen right? the see a fire and have to put it out? well this rino saw all these burning buildings and was like "Shit! ...that looks like mad fun" and instead of putting the fires out, he joined forces with the hipo and started to burn other stuff... feilds, people, flimingos. I use the term "joined forces" losly because being as territorial as a Hipo is, Mr. Hipo was not impressed. He wanted to burn all the people and flimingos himself. So he snuck up behind the rhino as he was lighting a sleeping albino cheata on fire and the hipo LIT THE RINO ON FIRE! man. It was such a plot twist. but then, just when you thought the plot had been twisted sp far that it coudlnt be twisted anymore, They tell us that Fire cant kill a rino! Its why they are mother natures fire fighers. So we have this fucking flaming rino and this huge angery hippo with a ligher and a can of gassonline... well i dont want to ruin the movie for you but lets just say that things get Haaatttttttt. check it. It was based on a true story too. no word of a lie.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
CCR. PPP.

"go down to the bottom bunk and finish yourself"
Jul 15 2005 12:00AM
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jib-unit00
Posts: 6704 - Karma: 18
i remember the wild boyz saying they were the most dangerous or somethin

yea, it might be because he has asian in him, but tanaka is more funny than that andy faggot. i'd probably watch the chinese tanaka show.
- bitchassphatz comenting on the andy milankis show

"Win or lose, we booze."

Underground Hip Hop Cult
PM to be invited
Jul 15 2005 12:17AM
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freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
MEEE TOOO!

-Chloe
skiing=RADICAL
Jul 15 2005 2:32AM
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t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
yeah when my mom and her exboyfriend (pro ski Racer) climbed the Kilimanjaro their guide had warned them about the hipos and had lost a limb to one or omsthing like that.

they had a couple of close calls with hippos

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Everybody Knows that Christians dont beleive in Gravity

I intend to live forever, so far so good

If you were touched by an angel call the police.
Jul 15 2005 7:44AM
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