mum signed me up for one of those POS prep courses that you pay like $500 for (this particular one is icarus college) and it was on today & yesterday.
yesterday was alright. he was saying how to do the written test and i thought while he was a total douchebag by totally ignoring students questions, or at best answering a question you didnt ask & then going on a tangent, i managed to _just_ bear it.
however, today was about the interview and how we should act. the asshat was insulting everyone, getting off on his own sense of power and contradicting himself every 30 secs.
exhibit 1:
there was a thing on a sheet which asked "where were you born?" so he pointed out an indian-looking kid in the group and said "you! dont write india!"
"but i wouldnt anyway"
"exactly"
"no i mean it, i was born in australia and my parents came from bangladesh anyway"
"oh thats a good answer. but leave out the bangladesh thing" (basically saying 'thats a pretty good lie', he didnt believe that the guy was born in austrlia)
exhibit 2:
he says: "dont be jocial, dont tell jokes, be funny, act sarcastic, anything"
however, for the past day he hadnt answered a single question seriously. practically everything he said was DRIPPING with sarcasm.
exhibit 3:
he says: there are 6 things you cant mention and the interviewer cant ask. they are race, religion, prestige, money, and 2 other things i have forgotten. If they ask these questions, dismiss it and get on to the next question.
So, he fires us some practice questions to see how we would respond, which included:
(A) Do you pray?
Everyone, EVERYONE(!) does exactly what he says, dismisses the question and gets back on the road.
He says to everyone back: “no! you cant be dismissive, you need to see what the interviewer is really asking�
Me, BS detector working overdrive: “didn’t you say about 10 minutes ago that the interviewers cant ask about religion and if they did we should dismiss the question?�
“yes but you don’t have to talk about religion�
“it’s a question about prayer, if you answer yes, youre religious BZZZT! No, youre an atheist BZZZT! Silent, no communication skills BZZZT! Dismiss question, youre not a good listner BZZZT! What the fuck do you want us to do?!�
“start talking about stress, what you do to relieve stress�
“scuse me?�
“people prey when theyre stressed�
“wouldn’t responsibility be a better topic as people usually prey when they need help with a problem that is far beyond them�
“no, stress. It’s a question about stress� (changes subject)
(B) what sports do you play?
Student: “rowing. I feel that the team…�
“NO! rowing is a rich peoples sport! Don’t say rowing! If you say rowing, you are revealing your socioeconomic background�
(passionate argument why that is a crock of shit etc.)
(C) what languages do you speak fluently?
He picks out an asian-looking girl
“I don’t know how to answer this because you said don’t mention race�
“race & language aren’t directly related�
“oh ok, I speak chinese & English�
“and what language do you speak at home, with your family?�
“chinese�
“NO! NO! NO! you cant say that because then they’ll know youre not Australian!�
“well should I say I don’t speak chinese then?�
“no, you must say you do because that shows good communication skills�
(girl in stunned, confused silence)
me, fuming: but if theres such an obvious link between rowing and money, wouldn’t there be an undeniable link between language and race? At our age the only way anyone here could possibly be fluent in a language is to be immersed in it, and you said we cant say we’ve been overseas because that makes them think we’re rich�
“well say youre part of a language club then�
“you said we cant lie, because we’ll be caught out�
“oh no, you cant _lie_� (biggest fucking wink in history)
exhibit 4:
(throughout general q&a time)
[these are questions asked by the students, fucktards answers distilled for simplicity purposes]
have you ever done the umat? No.
do you have any formal training? No
why did you call your course icarus college? Because icarus realised his dreams to fly.
Didn’t he go too close to the sun & die? No that was his brother oedepus (we all know what oedepus did)
Short answer, he’s a self important asshole. He doesn’t actually know anything, except how to con gullible parents. He charges copious amounts of money to have kids sitting there while he blows wind out of his arse.
I left at lunch on day 2. the only thing making me go there in the 1st place was my desire to continue living as my mum would have killed me if I didn’t go or walked out.
Oh and what he does is technically illegal. He doesn’t have a licence or anything.
[/rant]
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member of the sds suicide watch focus group
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