Replying to Some Things Not to Say During Sex

- You woke me up for that?
- Try breathing through your nose.
- A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
- But whipped cream makes me break out.
- On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
- So much for mouth-to-mouth.
- Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
- Try not to smear my make-up!
- Got any penicillin?
- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
- I want a baby!
- So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
- Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
- Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
- I think you have it on backwards.
- When is this supposed to feel good?
- Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
- Did I remember to take my pill?
- That leak better be from the waterbed!
- I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
- No, really... I do this part better myself!
- It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
- You're almost as good as my ex!
- You look younger than you feel.
- Perhaps you're just out of practice.
- They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
- I have a confession...
- Did you come yet, dear?
- When would you like to meet my parents?
- Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
- Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
- How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
Fear is the mind killer!