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We are all computer Hackers.

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t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
haha read this. I was reorganizing my favorites and I found this from a couple months ago. it made me laugh so hard. you should read it. I promise you if you are not completely unaware of what computers are you will find this hillarious.

http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

Apr 26 2005 9:19PM
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friday01
Posts: 1342 - Karma: 24
holllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fuck if i knew that person i really think i would have to kill him. what a faggot seriously. just imagine having that person as a parent thats like hell.

Apr 26 2005 9:36PM
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Quinny
Posts: 3477 - Karma: 163
Hahaha! That priceless.

------------------------

Smaller Sig = Claustrophobia
Larger Sig = Endless Void
Apr 26 2005 9:38PM
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iRonCrost2
Posts: 114 - Karma: 10
Hahaha! That priceless.

Apr 26 2005 9:39PM
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jibvermont
Posts: 910 - Karma: 10
hahahaha wtf...

Apr 26 2005 9:45PM
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1080chubs
Posts: 1001 - Karma: 28
i think its a joke... anyways if that guy tried to "spank" me i would honestly kick his ass

Apr 26 2005 9:45PM
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tandan83
Posts: 2783 - Karma: 141
that was by far the most rediculous thing i've ever read.



I would rather discover a single fact, even a small one, than debate the great issues at length without discovering anything at all. -- Galileo Galilei, c. 1640


Apr 26 2005 9:48PM
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NickMartini
Posts: 7761 - Karma: 8,356
"If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands"

" The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day"

-Nick Martini
steptproductions.com
"Blue prints droppiing fall of 05"
liberty skis
Apr 26 2005 9:48PM
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p-lin101
Posts: 1805 - Karma: 8
omg thats so funny. I love hte points about playing quake asking for more memory and wearing bright colours. If my dad was like that id probably turn into one of those kids that massacres his parents

If I tried that my kingpin would get stuck in one of the holes and id fly 357 degrees celcius and die- Mat(Deafboy)
Apr 26 2005 9:49PM
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Snubluck
Posts: 2192 - Karma: 11
Remember kids, Linux will severely damage your system.

-at least you went down naked- 'If brain power was gas you couldn't power a toy motorcycle around a penny.' Phrosty
Apr 26 2005 10:01PM
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asac
Posts: 12485 - Karma: 17
hahahahaha i hate people like that.

--------------------- - Good Fun With A Hand Gun Sacadelic
Apr 26 2005 10:02PM
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sherpasrock
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 10
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

AHAHAHAHHHAHA LOL, AMDs are like one of hte best processors out there

Forcast for tomorrow: a pinch of genius and a chance of DOOM!!
Apr 26 2005 10:04PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
haha, that was so great.
they may wear pacifiers around their necks. i have no idea why they do this.
hahaha, ravers, hackers, whats the difference?

does any1 no the name of the song that goes WHOOHO! dunananna WHOOHO!skierdude11 please... that is not a question... it is a quote. i know the song. and no, most of you have it wrong anyway.
Apr 26 2005 10:09PM
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Deafboy
Posts: 643 - Karma: 52
holly fuck if i ever met a parent like that i'd honest to god without a doubt beattttttttt the fucking shit out of him with a wide selection of tools....such as a sludge hammer, axe, and many other things like a baseball bat.

--------------------I Heart Skateboarding--------------------
Apr 26 2005 10:31PM
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rebuc2
Posts: 293 - Karma: 9
^^ ahhhaahaha yes. the "AMD" one was the best

Apr 26 2005 10:32PM
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faah
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 13
if you spend more than 30 minutes on the internet you are most definately a hacker

------------------------------------
Yeah saran wrap and a couple of rubber bands and your set for some steamy hot, safe sex action. -Mike-O

im not crazy 'cause i take the right pills everyday
Apr 26 2005 10:45PM
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t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
it wasnt a joke. the guy was on a morning news show telling people about this.

imagine having parents that would beleive that crap. that description is like every single teenager in the US exept for some mormons, amish people, and some weird kid who will become a serial murderer/rapist.

Apr 26 2005 10:52PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
I feel like that pretty much has to be a joke it's so incredibly rediculous. I don't think the poll on the side, in which when asked about their greatest fear of hackers visitors of the site overwhelmingly leaned towards "they smell bad," lends much credibility to it all. Having said that I must say that article is either really funny if my assessment is correct, or downright frightening if I'm wrong.

'Taco Del Mar invites you to roll a big one today!'
Apr 26 2005 10:56PM
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Jaskittin
Posts: 5606 - Karma: 195
"I go to all of my teenagers partys"
wow





maybe atlantaski wants michael innocent cuz he was molested by him 4 years ago when his dad sent him to neverland ranch for a day and now he wants michael free so he can penetrate one more time-Lateralis

Apr 26 2005 11:05PM
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t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
yeah I think it is a joke but the guy was supporting this seriously enough to make people think that he was serious. as I said before he was on a TV show and seemed pretty serious about it. I guess he might want to see how gullable people can be. if so than I think its great and it gave me a great laugh but if on the other hand he was sincere then that guy pisses me off so much.

Apr 26 2005 11:09PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,949
wow thats stupid lol

_______________________________________



"is 'cotton field gorilla' a racial slur?"-Lateralis

high north session 3
Apr 26 2005 11:15PM
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Parkboy
Posts: 2303 - Karma: 32
"Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks."

hahahaha

Apr 27 2005 2:28AM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
i rocked a glow stick yesterday.... im a bad person...

***************************************
-Matt

wayne gretzky, the only man i'd have sex with. i'd be intimate with, wayne gretzky

I am soooo takin' the waffles... that's right brandon. I took your waffles
Apr 27 2005 3:18AM
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SmoKinSkier
Posts: 5501 - Karma: 20
I wish I could limit myslef to just 45 minutes of NS a day I know my grades would be a shitload better!! OO well!!

________________________________________


Skiing isn't a matte rof life and death. IT's much more important than that!

'Live simply so others can simply live'-Ghandi
Apr 27 2005 4:47AM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

Mac 'n' Steeze Movie Mac 'n' Steeze Trailer
Apr 27 2005 6:49AM
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d-loc
Posts: 7479 - Karma: 15
^haha flash to hack ur system, im making animated movies and intros to hack into ur system

--------------------------------- ---- -------------------------------- Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it. D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.
Apr 27 2005 8:06AM
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almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.


hahahahahahah! im screwed!

- Patty

*NS Skateboarders* Vas y il l'a cassé!

*slaps ashamed almostaskiier across the back of his head with free hand* -lanks
Apr 27 2005 8:19AM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
number four is funny ... does ur son read hacking manuals

My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. And they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll trade this, but not my charizard.

"I took the bullets outa fifty and put them in my fo five"

LINE kicks ass

Apr 27 2005 11:30AM
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lucyford
Posts: 4742 - Karma: 15
hahah read the other stories...

My children will not be attending college:
http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2002.1.15.415.13121.html

and this one is ridiculous.
america's death machines....CARS!!
http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2002.2.13.2066.17648.html





far too fly to stay stationary...
Apr 27 2005 11:35AM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
"Neuromancer by william gibson" AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHHHAH oh man. if anything that book would turn you away from hacking.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
.C.C.R..P.P.P.

'naahhmahhnahh
hahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
"go down to the bottom bunk and finish yourself"
"I may be the last to cross the finish line, but at least im in the first race - pun intended"
Apr 27 2005 12:06PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
that guys a fucking crazy lunatic, im glad he isnt my dad id kill him

My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. And they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll trade this, but not my charizard.

"I took the bullets outa fifty and put them in my fo five"

LINE kicks ass

Apr 27 2005 12:12PM
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Nico
Posts: 1194 - Karma: 10
AMD maked shitty knock off processors? what the hell does this guy do any research?

Half a binding, half a brain, twice the fun.
Apr 27 2005 12:30PM
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sherkin
Posts: 41 - Karma: 10
haha he spells linux wrong what a douche

Apr 27 2005 12:33PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
i wouldnt hate on this guy too much. he is just ignorant and misinformed and constantly marveling at his great corporate america. I would try and educate him. Someone should hack onto his computer and do that.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
.C.C.R..P.P.P.

'naahhmahhnahh
hahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
"go down to the bottom bunk and finish yourself"
"I may be the last to cross the finish line, but at least im in the first race - pun intended"
Apr 27 2005 12:50PM
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Sokiem
Posts: 400 - Karma: 10
LOL, this is clearly a joke. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a dumbass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ n Hello, and welcome to tourettes syndrome. My name is Josh and i will your guide to-ffffFFUCK FUCK BITCH SHITTER
Apr 27 2005 1:09PM
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*ThaMovment*
Posts: 564 - Karma: 50
1: Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". Flash WHAT!?

2: Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Haha, I would kill myself if that guy was my father!

*****************************************
HotShots Represent
Apr 27 2005 1:13PM
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Moses
Posts: 1849 - Karma: 564
^
ignorance is one thing. But to go through all that trouble and time to write that is just plain stupid

Apr 27 2005 1:14PM
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almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
How could a few months of college change a person so completely? As much as it hurt me, I knew that I could not allow the drastically altered attitudes of young Blair to affect my family. I would not allow my children to be so irrevocably damaged. With heartfelt apologies to Miles, I told my children that they were not allowed to see Blair ever again. The strident complaints of my three daughters told me I had made the correct decision. Already they had begun to be drawn to her attitude of teenage rebellion. It felt good to know that I had acted in time to save them.

hahahahaha? what?

- Patty

*NS Skateboarders* Vas y il l'a cassé!

*slaps ashamed almostaskiier across the back of his head with free hand* -lanks
Apr 27 2005 1:24PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
haha that's hilarious, ignorance is an understatement

Apr 27 2005 1:39PM
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proZach
Posts: 7163 - Karma: 919
"If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school."

not only is that ridiculous, but, "hime." ?!?

(zach)




free xbox?or an iPod?
Apr 27 2005 1:54PM
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skibrdingbitch
Posts: 3990 - Karma: 20
haha i love the glow sticks, and the stpiked colored hair to match the clothes, and the pacifiers, i don't know one hacker who dresses like hes going to go drop E at a rave...


Member # 1787

'this kids a total tool.... the only reason he gets to 'ski, skate and blaze cron with josh and tj' are bc they make him suck their cocks for companionship on the slopes..'
- ATLANTASKI
Apr 27 2005 1:58PM
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almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
"I propose that steps be taken to correct our nation's attitude towards cars. The car chase should be banned from the movie industry, and replaced with safer alternatives such as bicycles and running. Not only would these eliminate the acceptance of dangerous driving among young people, it would encourage them to get good, healthy exercise. Of course, these changes to the movie industry will be a difficult and lengthy process. They will involve carefully editing every single car chase from every film ever released, or in the few cases where the car chase is vital to the plot of the movie, the film could be slowed down, reducing the apparent speed of the cars to be acceptable to the law.

Computer games are an easier problem to fix, since computer games more than one year old tend not to be played anymore. For this reason, changes to the computer game industry do not need to be harsh or drastic. Unlike movies, computer games can actually be quite helpful in producing better drivers. The computer game manufacturers can simply replace their old "illegal street racing" games with new lines that encourage careful, safe and legal driving. Points should be given for correctly indicating turns and lane changes, remaining on the right side of the road and within the lane markings, for stopping at stop signs and executing proper reverse parking manoeuvres, amongst other driving skills.

These measures alone will not be enough to counteract the impulsive nature of many drivers. Everyone knows how tempting it can be to rush through yellow lights, rather than stopping to wait for the green. Despite the illegality and risk of death, millions push their luck at intersections every day. Christian drivers are protected from this temptation by the ever watchful eye of God, and understand that their transgressions, however minor, do not go unobserved. What of the secular drivers who dominate our roads? Since our current political apparatus is not willing to erect road signs proclaiming the omnipresence of the Lord, we must seek a solution that preserves the separation of church and state. Modern digital technology provides the answer. "


whaaaaaaaaaaat? Oh, goodness, he had better be kidding. that nimrod.

- Patty

*NS Skateboarders* Vas y il l'a cassé!

*slaps ashamed almostaskiier across the back of his head with free hand* -lanks
Apr 27 2005 2:22PM
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DANETRON
Posts: 6671 - Karma: 137
driving fast is fun i dont think anyone does it because they saw it in a movie

My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. And they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll trade this, but not my charizard.

"I took the bullets outa fifty and put them in my fo five"

LINE kicks ass

Apr 27 2005 2:43PM
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Ghst
Posts: 5820 - Karma: 10
bwahahahahaha

///////////////// This is the llama. I have your cub. You must protect her, but that will be expensive. 500 colonuts, wrapped in brown paper. Midnight, behind the box. I'll be the hiena, you'll see. -llama
Apr 27 2005 3:42PM
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Roy
Posts: 1982 - Karma: 1,240
hahah this guy is an idiot, like he should be shot. HAhaha i cant wait to this guys kids get into thereal world, there either gonna be complete shut ins, or there gonna over indulge in drugs and booze and become drop outs, with a slim chance the kids being normal

Merse you sexy potatoe you better be doing some thing fucking crazy up there, see yea soon br-ah Too many Rookies not enough PROS !!! 807 Army 4life
Apr 27 2005 6:14PM
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SSteezle
Posts: 9296 - Karma: 7,752
hahahahaha, imagining having her as a mom, that would suck!

**********************************

-If your not sure about something........just huck it

Homepage

Forums
Apr 27 2005 6:34PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
hahahahaha i love it.

Poll

I'm scared of hackers because...
They hack into NASA 5%
They steal things 4%
They are violent sociopaths 4%
They use amphetamines and speed 7%
They help Osama Bin Laden 14%
They're un-American 5%
They smell bad 58%

Votes: 11015

_________________________________________ __________
-Chris
Apr 27 2005 6:45PM
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Ryno
Posts: 31125 - Karma: 336
i was just about to post that list....lol

_________________________________________     ThreeSixtyFS - when JD starts swearing, you know its bad.     Ryan V.G.   ~~~Phunkin Phatt Phreeriders~~~   Dragon's Lair
Apr 27 2005 6:47PM
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jc_dunn
Posts: 1014 - Karma: 25
If i had a dad like that i would kill myself. Thats the biggest loser dad ever ned flanders is less restricitive than that.

Join the homework sharing cult today!
Apr 27 2005 6:48PM
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Meh42
Posts: 2431 - Karma: 14
I'm so clueless as to whether these things are jokes are not, I mean on one hand look at the polls on the side, then go read the comments at the bottom. So many christians replied to the college one providing ways to get past "temptation" and offering good christian schools. It's amazing. Oh and here's the poll from the college one.

Poll

While I was at college I:
Drank lots of beer and got a young girl pregnant. 8%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot and got a young girl pregnant 0%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot, skipped class and got a young girl pregnant 9%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot, skipped class, crashed my father's car and got a young girl pregnant 1%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot, skipped class, crashed my father's car, sold drugs and got a young girl pregnant 1%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot, skipped class, crashed my father's car, sold drugs, went to rock concerts and got a young girl pregnant 9%
Drank lots of beer, smoked pot, skipped class, crashed my father's car, sold drugs, went to rock concerts, hazed freshmen and got a young girl pregnant 53%
Had an abortion. 14%

Votes: 155

_________________________________________ __________
-Chris
Apr 27 2005 6:56PM
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Latch
Posts: 499 - Karma: 10
Excuse me, I have to delete Flash, I honestly had no idea it was hacker software.

'Everybody's somebody at Wendy's..unless you're a midget!' -SpinninMacKinnon

There's Nothing To It But To Do It.

-Joel
Apr 27 2005 7:04PM
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