here's an elaborate story worth reading.
it was past midnight, and 2 buddies and myself went to a local 24 hour grocery store. we didnt steal anything; nor did we buy anything. but nevertheless, we decided to make a run for the exits, after one of us yelled "cheese it!". so we ran through the first set of sliding doors fine, but the 2nd set didnt open, and we plowed through them, making the two doors swing out on their hinges (that wasnt supposed to happen, they were automatic sliding doors afterall.) but the doors seemed fine, so we continued to sprint until we reached my friends car, at which point we peaced and headed for my place.
however, there was an undercover security guard who witnessed the ordeal, jumped into his unmarked hyundai santa fe, and pursued us. it became evident that we were being followed, so naturally, we tried to lose the guy. but the snow-covered sidestreets were sketchy, and after a 10 minute chase, we said "what the hell," and pulled over. afterall, we didnt steal anything.
so i get out of our car and stroll with steeze up to the dude's window, and he tells me to back off, thinking im a total gangsta. well, i am, but thats beside the point. the dude accuses us of stealing goods and breaking the doors on the way out, and calls the cops. we tell him cool, call the cops, becuase we arent criminals.
long story short, after 20 mins (the cop station was 45 seconds away) 5 cop cars pull up. they ask the security guard what was going on, so naturally he lies and says we stole stuff and nearly killed people trying to flee the scene. we werent allowed to have any say in the matter. they take our id's, and order us to go back to the store where they will punish us.
we go back, laughing at how insanely stupid the situation really is. 5 cop cars, for this? and the security guard wouldnt come near us the entire time, he was about 5'6 and had a meduim-at-best build, and any one of us, let alone all three of us, could have taken him out if we had deemed it necessary.
we wait in our car for 45 more mins while the grocery store clerks and the security guards lie about what we did. the guard finally comes to the car and tells us to give back whatever we had stolen, because 'a cashier watched us pocket something'.
that happened to be a complete lie, so i blankly told him that he is full of it and that he had better go back inside. he left without another word. 5 minutes later he returned, slapping each of us with a year long ban from the store, citing that we 'broke the doors', which was a lie. they have to be able to open on their hinges, its in the fire code. anyways, ew laugh in his face and gladly accept the bans, because they make us look badass; and now my mom cant tell me to buy the groceries.
in addition, the police charge us with 'mischief under $5000' (accidentally running into a set of doors is mischief?) and make us get mug shots and fingerprints (my mug shot was as real as it gets; so gangsta.)
in conclusion, we hired a lawyer, and the case is being tossed out presently, for being stupid. and our fingerprints and mug shots are being discarded from the system as well (im asking for a copy of my mug shot). and i can say that im a criminal and mean it.
-Joel
~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~
Capital City Rider, DFP
Silent Army
'Everybody calls me a zero. But I'm an internet hero.'
