Time Warner Headquarters Attacked by Angry Mob of Freeskiers – 3 Left Dead, 10 Severely Wounded.
By Tom Wilson
NEW YORK DECEMBER 10th – Around mid afternoon yesterday, approximately 3:30, Time Warner International headquarters in New York state was attacked by an angry mob of freeskiers, estimated to be about 15, whom witnesses say came from a white van with the word “Line� printed on the sides. Other mob members were said to come from by foot from the nearby woods. According to our sources, freeskiers in a ninja-like manner wearing “Line� bandanas, hoodies, and mirrored goggles, rushed the front gates of Time Warner Co. Shouts of “F—k Time Warner!� and “Viva la Freeze,� were heard by the two security guards as well as nearby employees. The security guards were said to be overwhelmed quickly, the first being stabbed numerous times by ski poles and the other beaten unconscious. The first security guard, Carl M. Davidson, died today in the hospital after laying in serious condition from stab wounds. Panicked workers began to flee the building, some attempting to fight back against the mob, only to be beaten to serious condition by gold Line Chronics. Witnesses say that Time Warner vice president, Steve Miller was unable to flee from his second floor office in time and was publicly lynched on an AOL flag pole.
“It was horrible, right out of a nightmare,� said employee Michael Blume, who managed to escape through a first floor window. “The way they attacked – so unexpected and merciless and I pray for the victims families. I was very lucky to escape. The way they killed Steve…. was horrible, I don’t see how someone could do that.�
Time Warner magazine manager, John Walsh, who made the call to stop production of FREEZE magazine permanently, was cornered in his 4th floor suite office according to his assistant, Max Cofwell. Walsh was heard pleading for his life before the apparent leader of the mob, dressed in a “Fresh Since 95’ tee-shirt,� tied him to a desk and set ablaze to the room. Walsh’s burned body was found yesterday evening after firefighters finally managed to put out a raging fire that consumed much of the first and second floors. When Cofwell was asked about yesterday’s act of terrorism, and reasons for it, he admitted that his bosses’ call to ice FREEZE had trigged the acts of violence.
“I suppose we shouldn’t have made that call – but it seemed the right thing to do at the time. After looking at our profit charts, FREEZE was making nothing compared to more popular magazines, such as SKI AND SKIING, MOGULS 4 LIFE and RACING IS RAD. So we decided that we didn’t give a [explicit comment] about FREEZE and the freeskiing community and would save production costs by cutting the magazine.�
By the time members of the swat team, police force and firefighters were able to get to the scene, the angry mob escaped quickly back into the woods and into the “Line� van, which police are still searching for. Ambulances rushed 10 severely injured employees to the nearby St. Mary's Hospital, where several remain to lay in serious condition. The night of the incident, our late-night team interviewed a skier, who asked to be anonymous, found sessioning an urban handrail near Time Warner Headquarters.
“Those [homosexual derogatory comment] got what they asked for when they stopped FREEZE. F—king [homosexual derogatory comment] FREEZE has been supporting freeskiing since the beginning, why didn’t they stop making RACING IS RAD or some [homosexual derogatory comment] magazine like that? If it was me, I would of burned the whole f—king building down and everyone inside. Every month I had freeze to look forward to and so did thousands of others. Now we don’t and it hurts. F—king [homosexual derogatory comment].�
New York State Police are continuing to investigate this shocking act of violence, and are determined to put those responsible to justice. A regional mourning of the victims and support for their family will take place this Sunday. If you have any information regarding the white LINE van or any suspected members of this crime, please call 1-800-223-4456.
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/10/international/middleeast/10violence.html?hp&ex=1102741200&en=1f449acee0fdaacc&ei=5094&partner=homepage
'Sorry to all those racers out there,' Hall said, 'but in 10 years you guys ain't going to be nothing.'
A quick word on blocking ads
It looks like you are using an ad blocker. That's okay. Who doesn't? But without advertising revenue, we can't keep making this site awesome. Click the link below for instructions on disabling adblock.
