Replying to Thank you Bloom for saving my testicles

First off, the pair of Bloom upward pants that I purchased for myself this year are incredible. I only truly realized how special they are today. As is the usual I was lapping with my friends. We stopped after a jump line to scope out the rails and I suggested that a 50-50 on the flat-up would be sick. I then decided if my friend could do it, so could I. He somehow managed to do it (god fucking knows how), and it was my turn. As you could guess I nutted myself pretty hard, or I would have if it were not for the pants that I were wearing. I hit nuts first, but because of how I sagged my pants the pants took all of the blow and I assumed I had ripped the shit out of them. But after rolling over I realized that not only were my precious lemons safe and sound, but my pants hadn't even torn a bit. And for that, I thank Bloom for allowing me to have children in the future.