I 'm a junior in high school, you may think I'm stupid for posting this because NS can be very narrow minded towards younger people but I'd like to think of myself as somewhat intellectual. Ever since I was a kid I have had big aspirations to go to a great college and get a stable job earning lots of money, like every other kid. As I've grown up my outlook on life is diminishing, I'm not depressed often I just feel empty. Really what's the point of life, to work your ass off for short lived happiness and deal with all the stress leading up to it, and then die and nothing that happened in your past life even matters anymore? I smoke often and when I do, I just can't comprehend the world, all these rappers look so stupid to me, all these politicians and laws just seem unnecessary. If life was meant to be a gift then why are we taking on all this stress in the act of living that just makes life not enjoyable anymore.
I've been a decent student my whole life, I have a 3.7 gpa and take various AP classes. I've struggled with being disorganized, procrastination, inability to concentrate and having a hard time thinking for extended amounts of time. I'm set on the fact that I have ADD, and I have an appointment scheduled in order to diagnose this and hopefully get some relief from the constant harassment from my parents about grades. I was scheduled to go to mount snow tomorrow and stratton saturday but my Dad said no because of grades that are in fact good but he doesn't know the first thing about how grades work and whenever he sees an F on an assignment he thinks it's going to make me fail the class. I fucking hate him and it's not the regular teenager hate for their parents when in reality they are good parents. He does a lot of bad things that I'd rather not talk about but trust me he's a bad person. He literally took my skis and brought them to his office so I couldn't sneak off because he knows I would so now I can't go.
Skiing is the only thing that makes me happy anymore and It's come to be my lifeline and heal all. Without Skiing my life is pointless, in this past semester of school I have seen my dreams and aspiration fall to the ground before me in replace of a much more serene and happy lifestyle, although it won't be lavish and extravagant I believe it will truly make me happy and a better person.
My plan is to move to Colorado and attend a community college, and then transfer to a four year school. My mom offered to pay for any college I could get into but I think I'd feel more self worth and pride if I can do this on my own. I'll get a minimum wage job and a season pass to Breck, hopefully I can make some ski buddies to room with at a very low cost. I'll live there as long as I can and enjoy the peace and serenity that lifestyle will bring me. Maybe this will show me why we are alive.
This is completely serious and I'd rather have actual input instead of the typical comments but if you feel the need then go ahead. Thanks for reading this if you found the time.
