Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

I need a New way to Jerk off, any ideas?

profile picture
MILFS
Posts: 25 - Karma: 18
so i broke both of my hands and cant jerk off anymore, this is a problem. since i already banged most of the hot babes in my area, i wanna try something new. Any of you freaks got any tips? +K for bumps and advice P.S no one tell me to bang my cat, because its not easy/orgasmic
Oct 16 2012 7:16PM
6 6
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51672 - Karma: 162,625
How are you typing then?

Obvious nans is obvious
Oct 16 2012 10:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Spiri7o
Posts: 2163 - Karma: 1,100
I have done this once
Oct 16 2012 10:51PM
0 0
profile picture
CRiP
Posts: 1323 - Karma: 482
fuck yourself in the ass. hours of fun free of charge.
Oct 16 2012 10:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
Click for larger image
Oct 16 2012 11:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
You're dumb for thinking I was serious . that is all lol
Oct 17 2012 3:40PM
0 0
profile picture
MILFS
Posts: 25 - Karma: 18
i got fingers rusty :D that helps me pleasure myself in different places too :)
Oct 17 2012 6:39PM
0 0
profile picture
white+wolf
Posts: 874 - Karma: 492
---------> http://www.jackinworld.com/techniques
Oct 17 2012 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
white+wolf
Posts: 874 - Karma: 492
http://www.jackinworld.com/techniques/jackinexpert-collection/simulators/the-baggie-the-mattress
Oct 17 2012 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
clearly you'd just have to helicopter your dong all willy nilly until that thing released its hold and let go
Oct 17 2012 6:49PM
0 0
profile picture
.Natty.
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84
chuckled for a solid minute about the idea of masturbating with only your imagination
Oct 17 2012 7:09PM
0 0
profile picture
slugworth
Posts: 1247 - Karma: 772
ha! 10/10
Oct 17 2012 8:45PM
0 0
profile picture
Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
only 0.06% of men can actually do it.
Oct 17 2012 8:48PM
0 0
profile picture
KingTaco
Posts: 2510 - Karma: 2,829
BAHAHAHAHA
Oct 17 2012 10:26PM
0 0
profile picture
status_whitegirl
Posts: 480 - Karma: 12
Okay, here goes nothin.

The Couch Arousal

-Get a sandwich bag, preferably not ziplock, trust me, you'll find out why if you use one.
-Dump a good amount of lotion into the bag.
-Carefully place bag in between two tight couch cushions, preferably a couch with only two tightly stuffed cushions, make sure the top of the open side of the bag is sticking out of the cushion about an inch.
-Carefully stick your penis into the bag, make sure the couch doesn't swallow the bag into its deep abyss.
-Start off by slowly pumping your penis in and out of the couch.
-Finish by punishing your couch, slamming your rock hard dick in and out of its dust filled crevasse.
-Do not let anyone find the bag, trust me, just fucking get rid of that shit.

GOOD LUCK

-Status_whitegirl  
Oct 17 2012 10:38PM
0 0
profile picture
bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 996
Fingers is all you need if you're a master. I rarely ever use palm.
Oct 18 2012 1:10AM
0 0
profile picture
Wallisch_pl
Posts: 5260 - Karma: 1,022
I was going to say....I haven't really came that close ever
Oct 21 2012 5:50PM
0 0
profile picture
SneakyTurtle
Posts: 228 - Karma: 30
Click for larger image
Oct 21 2012 9:54PM
0 0
profile picture
pjbackwoods
Posts: 1396 - Karma: 421
So apperently if your new to a skiing website your a virgin? Makes me laugh
Oct 21 2012 10:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Laurent.
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 25,313
This thread:


Click for larger image
Oct 22 2012 2:21PM
0 0
profile picture
JDA
Posts: 572 - Karma: 566
I've heard cheese graters are good!
Oct 22 2012 3:39PM
0 0
profile picture
seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
true story:

my good buddy broke both his wrist same time on a vicious check from behind.
we ripped on him for a solid 2 weeks about not being able to j-o.
so one night we decided we would take him to the local adult massage parlour.
he claims the girl felt so bad for him that she s'ed his d and only charged him the room fee.
wutta nice girl
Oct 22 2012 3:58PM
0 0
profile picture
rzarector
Posts: 590 - Karma: 70
I thought I was the only one whose done this
Oct 22 2012 6:29PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392
Click for larger image
Oct 22 2012 6:36PM
0 0
profile picture
J-C
Posts: 1138 - Karma: 3,683
Click for larger image
Oct 22 2012 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,867
Say goodbye to your dick?
Oct 22 2012 10:00PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)