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Things your family say.

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Childstar.
Posts: 1947 - Karma: 2,212
My Sister:
"you'd shit your pants, then take pictures of it"

My Dad:
"your grandpa is a pie slut, he'll eat any pie"

Share your best!
Oct 25 2011 9:55PM
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Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
Everytime something bad but not serious happens, like when she drops a glass, my mum has this signature wail along the lines of "Ooooooh noooooooooooo!!" The whole family mockingly say it and it usually results in her crying in laughter. Good times. My dad has the uncanny talent of singing like Snow White in a really high pitched voice("HUHLALALALA"). I'll post others when I can fucking remember more..
Oct 26 2011 3:18PM
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MFM
Posts: 842 - Karma: 77
Grandpa: "Why the hell did i ever decide to buy a Honda Civic, i spent 3 years chasin japs and they get try to get revenge sellin us cars that all they do is make ching chong noises when i don't put my rice paper seatbelt on.


Oct 26 2011 3:35PM
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Panda_with_Guns
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 1,620
my dad calls him self the nigger of the house because he does all the cleaning and shit.
Oct 26 2011 9:03PM
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NsnS79
Posts: 481 - Karma: 60
my grandpa - yeah all the niggers

my mom - no they are african americans

my grandpa - yeah niggers

my mom - no dad thats not the right term
Oct 26 2011 9:07PM
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bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 996
My dad refers to every person from the middle east as mohammad, he told me he could hi me for the "nigger work" and he would make me pick flies out of tubs of pepper with boxing gloves on.
Oct 26 2011 9:14PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
"Mom.......the car is gonna smell in a minute."


Pppppffffffffffttttt




Yep....7 year old daughter.
Oct 26 2011 9:16PM
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Jaimee.
Posts: 846 - Karma: 87
I walk in the door coming home after hanging out with my then-boyfriend.
Dad: So, did he satisfy you tonight?
Me: What?
Dad: You know what I mean... he better be giving you that extra special attention that you deserve.
Me: Dad, you sicken me sometimes.
Dad: Well, if my daughter is going to have a boyfriend she may as well be getting the best pleasure possible out of it.
At that point I just walked away.

Oct 26 2011 9:23PM
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7-3instacall
Posts: 999 - Karma: 1,005

when i have a buddy at my house, when he leaves,

mom: well it was nice to see you, hope you come back,

dad: yah, hope you comeback, not too often

Oct 26 2011 9:29PM
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KANGAROOJACK
Posts: 361 - Karma: 59
i love your grandfather.
Oct 26 2011 9:35PM
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Slowbro
Posts: 3861 - Karma: 21,298
My grandpa calls black people negroes, and heard me say wigger once and says it all the time
Oct 26 2011 9:48PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
My family is currently going full retard on my grandfather's iPhone 4S.

I started, by saying in a normal way, "My fridge is broken," and she gave me directions to appliance stores in my area.

My dad then grabbed the phone, held it in his mouth, and spoke very loudly, with seconds between words, and said "I WANT A 5-STAR HOTEL IN BALTIMORE FOR TOMORROW NIGHT," because that is what he heard them do with it on the radio.

My grandfather, by the way, bought the 4S, and never learned how to use his 3G for anything but calling.
Oct 26 2011 10:14PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
cutest thing ever.
Oct 27 2011 12:38AM
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ALaw
Posts: 2616 - Karma: 1,552
My dad to my friend. "Maybe you should just get a blow up doll that way she won't say no."
Oct 27 2011 12:52AM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456

Mom: What are u doing?

Me: Grabbing my penal code with both hands

Mom: Just dont make a mess

i was reading a textbook on business law

Oct 27 2011 12:56AM
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TallerThanThou
Posts: 615 - Karma: 13
Then we drive around in his Jaguar and he yells at college girls in a Russian accent. Because he can.
Oct 27 2011 1:02AM
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Wall_Nut
Posts: 629 - Karma: 113
What an excellent opportunity to brag about how well off you are! Enjoy life, I'm sure you'll do well, but do yourself a favor and humble down a bit. You'd think with parents that clawed their way up from the bottom that you'd be a bit more grateful for what you have. My parents are scraping together 5500 to get me a car, and you know what? I can't thank them enough!
           Maybe if you were a more thankful person, your mom wouldn't have a problem with shelling out the dough for your season pass. Your parents clearly have the money, they're just trying to teach you some values here. Do yourself a favor, and embrace them.

Oct 27 2011 1:22AM
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jibmeisterflex
Posts: 719 - Karma: 63

Mom:  Is that James Donnovan(childhood friend)

Me:  Yeah

Mom:  He's not a ugly as he used to be

Oct 27 2011 9:59AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Haha it sure is. Funny little fuckers.
Oct 27 2011 10:34AM
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DasGoatenshafter
Posts: 580 - Karma: 307
Mt dear mother has signature ways of saying the names of my brother and dad. whenever she sees a mouse or something there is a piercing "LOOOOOUUUUUIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" or whenever my brother does something stupid she says "ROland" (i tried to emphasize the right parts. its her signature move though... all of my friends make fun of her for it.
Oct 27 2011 11:06AM
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BROSEIDON
Posts: 3702 - Karma: 1,495
Damn you're parents are the shit for doing that! I had to buy mine and pay insurance and registration and inspection and gas and repairs. I'm glad you appreciate it though! Gives me some hope in society.
Oct 27 2011 11:06AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
If I ever have kids, theyre gonna be masters of poopjokes and fart noises... and real farts...

...i feel really bad for whoever has to marry me.
Oct 27 2011 12:49PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
I just yelled at the top of my lungs that it was snowing outside, followed by a whole conversation about snow. My grandfather then kicked in with "oh hey look, its snowing," totally serious.

get this man out of my house.
Oct 27 2011 5:06PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
My Dad: "I wear long sleeved shirts every day because with the sleeves rolled down I look respectable, but I can also roll up the sleeves so people can see the tattoos."

"What's offensive? Mongoloid? I thought that was just what they were called? Oh yeah, I guess it is Down Syndrome now."

"Your grandma didn't see a black person till she was in her thirties. Apparently it really freaked her out."

"This one time I was at a football (read: soccer) game and we were gonna fight these guys but then one of them pulled out a box cutter. We turned and ran, and the guy slashed at me. Cut my sheepskin jacket right in half, it literally fell off me."

"I went to America once when I was a kid. I remember thinking Dr. Pepper was the greatest invention ever. God, America is so much better than England. England sucks"

"I haven't been in a fight since 1989, when you were one. It was at work and I threw a guy through a window. I got fired, its part of the reason we live in LA."

"I don't drink on weekends. I mean, I drink Coors Light on weekends, but that doesn't get me drunk."

"I met some guy from a band called Maroon 5 last weekend. I told him I had never heard of him."

My dad is pretty much hilarious.
Oct 27 2011 5:26PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
My grandpa (I love him to death) always burst out swearing. Say he drops a spoon, I'm upstairs, and all I hear is: "SSHIIITT, AHH GOD DAMNIT!!!". And he always lectures people, no one can get away from him. And he gives all my friends hugs when they come over.
Oct 27 2011 6:02PM
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OCM
Posts: 1276 - Karma: 975
My 9 year old sister: I like Winnie the Pooh.

Dad: Ha. You like poo.
Oct 27 2011 6:04PM
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stickski
Posts: 1938 - Karma: 1,529
lol too many of these have made me bust up laughing. thank you ns
Oct 27 2011 7:31PM
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chiefbroseph
Posts: 720 - Karma: 523
me: mommy, do i have to run in circles?
mom: shut up or il nail your other foot to the flour!

me: mommy, do i have to lick the bowl?
mom: shut up or il flush it!

me: mommy, why is daddy running?
mom: shut up and reload!
Oct 27 2011 7:37PM
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ChuckTesta
Posts: 960 - Karma: 258
haha threads for school
Oct 27 2011 7:50PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
Your dad is awesome.
Oct 28 2011 1:05PM
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