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Korny jokes that took you a secondd...

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DAS~SEND
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
I was drivin home the other day and this girl was hitch hiking with 1 leg, so i told her to hop in. Best of all her name was eileen.

took me a good 10 minutes to figure out the irony of this joke lmfao
Jan 6 2010 8:09PM
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DoublyDeeze
Posts: 625 - Karma: 3,863
cool
Jan 6 2010 8:10PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
This made me think for like 40 seconds. Girls hate when guys suck dick at fucking pussy
Jan 6 2010 8:13PM
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DAS~SEND
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
hahaha id say a minute for me
Jan 6 2010 8:21PM
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wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
apple.
most people know that one, as horrible as it is.
Jan 6 2010 8:25PM
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An10a_Eng
Posts: 2505 - Karma: 26
...but why? simple physics shows that they should hit at the same time, neglecting air resistance
Jan 6 2010 8:32PM
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DaysToCome
Posts: 1601 - Karma: 86
gold walks into a saloon. the bartender says  A U! get outta the bar!
Jan 6 2010 8:35PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
obvious idiot is retarded.











also, BAN HIM BECUZ IT WUZ OFFENSIVE.
Jan 6 2010 8:35PM
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COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
A man gets into a wreck.  Him and the other driver get out of the car, the other driver is a midget.  the midget rushes up to the man and says "I'm not happy!" so the man says "then which one are you?"

i got it instantly, took my friend probably a good 15+ minutes
Jan 6 2010 8:36PM
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superpoluha
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 10
i loled, dont get the black one though
Jan 6 2010 8:37PM
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GreenHorn
Posts: 4896 - Karma: 1,209
lol wut
Jan 6 2010 8:38PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
noose.
Jan 6 2010 8:38PM
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davar6
Posts: 555 - Karma: 24
Haha nice nice. Alright this shouldnt take long but...

A pirate with a steering wheel in his pants walks into a bar.
The bar tender then asks, "Why is there a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate says... "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Jan 6 2010 8:42PM
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bstuck1
Posts: 426 - Karma: 46
chemistry lol
Jan 6 2010 8:44PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
perfect joke for a science teacher
Jan 6 2010 8:46PM
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An10a_Eng
Posts: 2505 - Karma: 26
if you want a sad joke, look at your life! ohhhh burn!
Jan 6 2010 8:48PM
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ROOS.
Posts: 1992 - Karma: 39
so one evening a mother and father are making love, when the father looks up and sees his son, who is 8, standing in the doorway. The boy looks horrified and runs away. The father pulls out and says i should go talk to the boy. So he gets dressed and walks down the hall and opens up the boys door, and he falls over backwards in shock. The 8 year old is fucking his grandmother. The father looks up and the boy looks him in the eye and says "its not so funny when its your mom is it"


NOW THATS A FUCKING JOKE
Jan 6 2010 8:49PM
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EvanA02
Posts: 421 - Karma: 47
Q: how do you get an elephant into a safeway bag?

A: you take out the f in way, but there is no F in way, no effin way!


Jan 6 2010 8:53PM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
whoa. epic.
Jan 6 2010 8:56PM
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saranac_tortex
Posts: 518 - Karma: 14
Hahahahaha. Not hard to get, but hilarious
Jan 6 2010 8:58PM
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ifli
Posts: 449 - Karma: 21
huh??




did you hear about the guy who died raking leaves.
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he fell out of the tree
Jan 6 2010 8:59PM
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PeeDuBzz
Posts: 1010 - Karma: 134
holy shit thats great, definitely telling that one to people tomorrow hahahah....

anyways here a hard to get one kinda,

An executive was in a quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said:

“Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off.”

Debra replied, “Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache.”


Jan 6 2010 9:37PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
but nobody said the tree was in an airless vaccuum so it comes down to mass and wind resistance..
Jan 6 2010 9:40PM
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PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
i feel so stupid but the only one i got so far is the eileen one
Jan 6 2010 9:47PM
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bigwhite.steeze
Posts: 8227 - Karma: 1,030
that was awesome hahahaha
Jan 6 2010 9:47PM
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will-g
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 69
it smells like updog in here?
Whats updog?


Some kid told me that today. gosh hes dumb
Jan 6 2010 9:48PM
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have.faith
Posts: 338 - Karma: 97

two fish are swimming in a river. one hits a wall. the other one goes "damm"

two peanuts were walking down the street. one was a salted.

Jan 6 2010 9:49PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
whats the best thing about fucking twenty-three year olds?

theres 20 of them.


a guy walks into a bar and says "ouch"
Jan 6 2010 9:50PM
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goneforever
Posts: 794 - Karma: 18
Or this one:

#1: Dickfor!
#2: What's a "dickfor?"
#1: (insert stupid laugh)
Jan 6 2010 9:53PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321

i see wat you did thur

Jan 6 2010 9:55PM
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amo
Posts: 6709 - Karma: 1,248
A guy walks into a bar with his giraffe. He orders four beers, two for him and two for the giraffe. The giraffe is a light weight and passes out on the floor. The guy starts to get up to leave after paying and the bartender says, "Hey man, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
The guy replies, "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe."


Jan 6 2010 9:58PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
huhuhuhuhu
Jan 6 2010 9:58PM
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snowking249
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 34
hahahahaahaa. def gettin told 2moro.
Jan 6 2010 10:04PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
this entire thread = Click for larger image
Jan 6 2010 10:04PM
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ride_on
Posts: 317 - Karma: 33
this made me happy
Jan 6 2010 10:11PM
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[JP-of-SC]
Posts: 345 - Karma: 10
What do you call a blind dear?
No eye dear.

What do you call a blind dear with no legs?
Still no eye dear.

What do you call a blind dear with no legs and no genitals?
Still no fucking eye dear!
Jan 7 2010 1:21AM
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Franny
Posts: 3980 - Karma: 77
Another pirate joke.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A Buccaneer.
Jan 7 2010 1:26AM
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976

how do you know if a farmer is the best at whatr he does?

he's out-standing in his field! ah!

Jan 7 2010 1:55AM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
This thread is gold.
Jan 7 2010 1:57AM
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Samsquanch
Posts: 450 - Karma: 26
Im sure uve heard this before...
Whats the difference between santa and Tiger Woods?
Santa stopped at three Ho's
Jan 7 2010 2:04AM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
Woman walks into a supermarket and buy's:
  • bar of soap
  • toothbrush
  • tube toothpaste
  • loaf of bread
  • pint of milk
  • single serving cereal
  • single serving frozen dinner

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single are you?" The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're ugly."
Jan 7 2010 2:11AM
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Skiingslikewhoa
Posts: 426 - Karma: 12
The original from Robin Williams, way better when he does it. about 2:40 in.

.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEPokvntdIM
Jan 7 2010 2:19AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
two gold fish are sitting in their tank
one says to the other "you man the guns, i'll drive"
Jan 7 2010 2:28AM
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976

a guy is trying on a new pair of Raichle boots

he asks the asian salesperson if they will be replaced if they are broken.

the salesmen says it would be highly un-raichle

Jan 7 2010 2:41AM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
these are my favorite type of jokes.

what do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?

a stick.
Jan 7 2010 2:46AM
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.Roockley.
Posts: 3864 - Karma: 4,078
two fish are in a tank

one turns to the other and says "how do we drive this thing?"
Jan 7 2010 5:29AM
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Mr.Silva
Posts: 193 - Karma: 10
I was just about to say that one!
Jan 7 2010 6:14AM
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.Roockley.
Posts: 3864 - Karma: 4,078
god damnit i wish i could read,

there appears to be a large hole appearing in australia, scientists are looking into it
Jan 7 2010 6:24AM
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EasyEast
Posts: 1983 - Karma: 118
my threads this ish is funny stuff
Jan 7 2010 6:54AM
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some-skill
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
and if you want a sad life, say ohhhh burn after every insult!
Jan 7 2010 7:20AM
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