The night is dark, the air warm.... A series of attacks has rained down on mount rancor, the rebestokes were attacking... The birth of myself was one of great perportion, for i was the son of king ZOCK, the infamous and notorious silent, swift, diabolical... GYPSIESLAYER... For i am from rancor, and and the rebestokes were gaining power. Something has to be done, but i am only an infant.. And because of my fathers tragic but fearless death from the SALAPOOPS, no one was around that even possesed the strength to kill the demons/goons from rebestoke. The town of rancor was on my back, at 3 months, i had a fucking town on my back. I was nervous, scared, i didnt know what to think, i didnt even know how to think. EVERY day there were people coming to my house pleading for my strength, my 3 month old strength... until, one day. a older PROPHET, by the name of JAYSLAYERLEVENTHAL, arrived at my home. This night, the air was crisp, sound carried. But his magical powers created a sound barrier that nothing could travel through, and he spoke to me without the rebestokes ever knowing. He said to me, young K-FED, you must gain strength to save Rancor, and because of this, you will need to carry these. He equipped me with two oddly shaped planks. curved up on both ends. I was sure these were staffs of power. THAT THEY WERE. scribed on the middle of the planks, were the faint lettering, MIKE NICK. my very first pair of power staffs. i was unsure of what to do with these though... he spoke again.. Strange walking apparatus' appeared. He said to me, these will bring your magical powers to FULL TILT. unaware of what magical powers these had, he fastend them to my feet. THE POWER RAN COLD THROUGH MY VEINS, THEN HOT, THEN COLD... something was happening to me, i could feel myself growing, gaining strength.. my arms, my biceps, my quads, my brain. it was all changing. i was introduced to the world. He left, without a sound... I began to train with my new articles of power, i was getting stronger, stronger, stronger... i was soon to believe i was outgrowing the power of my MIKE NICKS. and before the thought got any further, i was whissped away into a magical, white land... JAYSLAYERLEVENTHAL had taken me captive, once agian. He said to me. young K-FED, you are growing stronger each and every day, you have outgrown your MIKE NICKS, and you will need somehting of greater power. From the depths of heaven arose two white staffs, and what appeared to be crows peppered about them. the lettering wrote "CHRONIC"... my life was about to change. he told me to keep training... piff, he was gone... i could do it all with these staffs.. Kill, fly, shoot flames from the crows eyes, the skulls that were laced within the staffs glowed red with fury, for rebestoke was in peril. Two years had gone by, and our pathetic army had seemed to shoo the rebestokes. But alas, rancor was still falling. My powers had gone up twofold. I was in need of new staffs, quickly. JAYSLAYERLEVENTHAL appeard. He said to me, K-FED, for this is your time. Train hard, train strong, TRAIN WITH MIGHT. with no effort at all, a new CHRONIC had appeard, black and hot orange glowed in my eyes, these were feirce, mean, bloody, killing, flying, motherfucking power staffs. I trained hard, i trained long i trained so hard that the crust in the earth was too afraid to come to terms with my power! I WAS GROWING, I WAS GAINING, I WAS K-FED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!! one
THE NIGHT WAS COLD, MY BREATH UPON THE AIR WAS HOT, THIS WAS IT, FOR RANCOR WOULD BE SAVED! MY TRAINING, MY STRENGTH, MY POWERS WOULD BE BROUGHT TO FRUITION!!11ONE
As me and my comrades saddled up, I was swept away by JAYSLAYER, once again. He told me, young K-FED, THIS IS YOUR DAY!!!!11one.. HE quickly blinked his eyes, and thought long and hard, his brainpower was exploding, veins popping... he had created THE PROPHET. THE DO IT ALL STAFF. as they emerged in my arms, i could feel the metal, the art, the POWER the sheer POWER these had. FOR BATTLE WAS TO COME!!!11one.
AS WE FLEW HIGH ABOVE THE SKY, TO REBESTOKE, OUR COMRADES AND WARRIORS GLEAMED OUT WITH PRIDE, WE WERE ABOUT TO REDEEM RANCOR AND TAKE BACK WHAT WAS RIGHTFULLY OURS!
THE BATTLE WAS LONG, IT WAS HARD. IT WAS TOUGH. I HAD TO SLICE THROUGH THE LIKES OF THE SALAPOO WARRIORS, THE HARDLYMADA DEMONS, THE GAYTOOTH GOBLINS, THE ATOMICMORONIC TROLLS, NINTH-TURD THUGS, AND THE OTHER VARIOUS WANT-TO-BE'S. MY PROPHETS KILLED,CHOPPED,MURDERD, RAPED AND PILLAGED THE COMPETITION. SO MUCH SO THAT THAT STOPPED TRYING, I HAD DECAPITATED THE HEADS OF EVERY SINGLE WARROR, I HAD WON, I HAD PREVAILED, FOR I AM K-FEEEDDDEDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111ELEVENONE!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!
