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Guess what? Gay people can quote the bible too.

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ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,455

Click for larger image
Sep 21 2009 1:05AM
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GORlLLA
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 45
Ok, That is totally fucking badass.
Sep 21 2009 1:08AM
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Download-My-Apps
Posts: 5069 - Karma: 1,017
hahaha
Sep 21 2009 1:08AM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Haha, I can't wait for joshua to chime in on this one.
Sep 21 2009 1:09AM
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ryan.s
Posts: 462 - Karma: 47
i guess im not marrying my girlfriend
Sep 21 2009 1:10AM
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psychkub
Posts: 1788 - Karma: 16
epic.
Sep 21 2009 1:11AM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
mmhmm. The story of Jonathan and David is the greatest love story ever told in the bible.
Sep 21 2009 1:14AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
christianity would be so much cooler if they kept to this shit.
Sep 21 2009 1:14AM
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psychkub
Posts: 1788 - Karma: 16
... not just christianity but every bible-thumping faith-based organization out there.
Sep 21 2009 1:19AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
truth.
Sep 21 2009 1:20AM
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r0dubs
Posts: 1764 - Karma: 19
aw fuck
the bitch is dead...
Sep 21 2009 1:21AM
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AskAGaySkier
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10
If you like that, you'll love this. I didn't write this, but I looked these up, these are actually in the bible. I don't post this to make fun of Christianity. I just think people need to realize that anyone can use the bible to justify whatever purpose they choose.

Anyway, here is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely
on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between
one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in
addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron
11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a
virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut
22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be
forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the
constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be
construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry
the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or
deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one
shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law.
(Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your
town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with
him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men
young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of
course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Sep 21 2009 1:35AM
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,891
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sep 21 2009 1:40AM
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Lanceasaurus
Posts: 925 - Karma: 109
If this was actually what happened like 1 out of 1000 married couples would actually be married.
Sep 21 2009 1:47AM
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TimS
Posts: 236 - Karma: 33
and there's "Sacred Herb"  in the bible too
Sep 21 2009 1:48AM
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Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 801
way way way less dude haha
Sep 21 2009 4:57AM
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SKIDUBAIGUY
Posts: 3018 - Karma: 8
We would only be able to marry fat bitches.
Sep 21 2009 5:27AM
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kepler.
Posts: 8761 - Karma: 139
Perfect.
Sep 21 2009 8:00AM
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hartig
Posts: 8192 - Karma: 10
hahahhaa what the fuck? people invented tag teaming back in the biblical times?
Sep 21 2009 10:00AM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,019
queer






nah just playin thats dope as fuck seriously
Sep 21 2009 10:22AM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424
This thread is brimming with win.
Sep 21 2009 10:38AM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
i didnt know they knew about the new world when the bible was written.
Sep 21 2009 10:41AM
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garrets
Posts: 1447 - Karma: 60
 
Sep 21 2009 11:41AM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451

haha nice

Sep 21 2009 11:46AM
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psychkub
Posts: 1788 - Karma: 16
Where are the right-wing conservatives? Cat's got yer tongue?
Sep 21 2009 1:06PM
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[D-Lite]
Posts: 120 - Karma: 32
yeah right..
Sep 21 2009 1:07PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
thats pretty funnny
Sep 21 2009 1:09PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
The movement against gay marriage is composed of logical fallacies and hate. There are no real "arguments" against gay marriage. Only prejudice from people who call themselves "christians". In fact, it turns out that the fundamentalist christians are those who actually practice what the bible teaches and support the marriages. Go figure.
Sep 21 2009 1:18PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

fan of the gay people that piss me off for completely unrelated reasons and get in my face about being gay.  basically, if you keep it away from me, just like if jimmy horndog and susie rottencrotch keep the sex in the bedroom, i dont care if you are gay.  because, it doesnt affect me in almost anyway.

Sep 21 2009 1:22PM
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psychkub
Posts: 1788 - Karma: 16
So what you're saying is that as long as they're not kissing, holding hands, or hugging in public or in front of you, you're ok with it?

How's that any different than when a heterosexual couple performs the same actions, say, in front of a gay individual?

Maybe I'm misunderstanding your post, but that's such a hypocritical double standard that I'm tired of hearing.
Sep 21 2009 1:37PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

fuck, i forgot to mention a couple things, i just woke up like 5 minutes before that post and hadnt even had my morning dump so bear with me.

even when heterosexual couples kiss and shit in public i get annoyed.  like, my gf after winter break ran up and tried to give me a big kiss right in public cause she hadnt seen me in a month but i pushed her away cause chances are, if i dont like seeing it, others dont like that either.  holding hands, no harm in that, or a hug.  fuck, i huge some of my guy friends too cause im comfortable enough with my own sexuality that i dont care.  the kissing thing, no matter homosexual or heterosexual couples annoys me.

Sep 21 2009 1:41PM
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AskAGaySkier
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10
And before someone attempts to debunk this thread, I want to point out that the sign pictured above is not an actual "quote" from the bible and a more accurate title for this thread would be "Gay people can paraphrase the bible too".

Actually, the bible goes into a lot more detail about how to determine if the girl is a virgin, what to do if a guy lies about her not being virgin (fine him 100 shekels) and where and how to kill her if she is not (stone her at her father's door). All that definitely does not fit easily on a sign.

Who knew the bible was so interesting?
Sep 21 2009 1:42PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
And even that attitude will die gracefully once we're accepted, but until then, the big reason why this is a big issue is that gay people have shown that we do exist in VAST numbers; it's about the visibility. And besides that ^ the double standard referred to in the posts above meh, isn't hanging out and saying "I wanna go get my dick wet tonight" to me just like saying "I'm gonna go suck a dick tonight" for you? Think about it.

Sep 21 2009 1:49PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
Yeah that doesn't make sense at all unless its the Mormon bible or something.
Sep 21 2009 1:50PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
A great read if you take a Lord of the Rings type stance with the story. It really is a great book.
Sep 21 2009 1:51PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

i didnt mean in my post to look like i have a double standard cause i dont.

the problem i have, which is the same problem i have with black people and other groups, is that you always have that like 5% that think they have to get in your face about it when you get pissed at them.  as an example, i had a coworker at a construction job this last summer and everyone knew he was gay, no one gave a shit as long as he did his work.  now, he was working on the roof of a pretty tall apartment building and the company we worked for required that you have a harness attached to something if you are working that high, and everyone followed it.  one day he didnt and i just said "dude, why are you being a fucking moron working on the edge without a harness" and he got all up in my face about me saying something like that because he was gay.  i would have said that to our foreman too if he was out on the roof without a harness.  that sort of shit pisses me off about everyone.

Sep 21 2009 1:54PM
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psychkub
Posts: 1788 - Karma: 16
They're using those bible quotes to substantiate that stipulation for the definition of marriage in the US, since that's where the debate seems to be so prevalent.
Sep 21 2009 1:54PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
Some people are touchy about everything and do take it too far - Sort of like some of the black, latino, or asian communities.

But realize that the visible minority and the paranoia of being an out gay is alot to deal with.
Sep 21 2009 2:01PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
oh no, i understand completely.  its the people that take it way too far in every racial group, sexual group, political group, or even athletic group (like snowboarders) that give everyone else a bad rep.  its fucking annoying.
Sep 21 2009 2:03PM
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Corben
Posts: 710 - Karma: 49
I'm a conservative. doesnt mean i quote the bible like that.

Gay marriage is the least of my worries right now.
Sep 21 2009 2:04PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
im conservative but i personally think the bible is a fucking joke.
Sep 21 2009 2:08PM
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AskAGaySkier
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10
I've seen this response a lot and I want to break it down, because frankly, it annoys me.

I think it's an irrational response to PDA to be "pissed off" by it, homo or hetero. You can dislike it, you can think it's not classy, but if it makes you angry, you should seek psychological help because you definitely have anger management issues.

And when this statement is directed toward homo PDA, then I sense there is more going on here that I find particularly offensive. Usually, this statement includes the "flaming queer" amendment that goes something like, "I can't stand it when dudes act like chicks. You have a fucking penis. Act like it."

Essentially, what both these statements say to me, a gay guy, is that so long as I am in the closet and nobody can tell that I am gay, that's acceptable. If I am not in the closet, then anger and, by implication, violence towards me is perfectly acceptable.

Do you realize the amount of damage associated with forcing people to be in the closet? You are essentially telling people that they are fucked up, that they do not belong in society. It forces people to be alone, to be ashamed of who they are and lack the ability to find other people who are like themselves. I doubt you can imagine what being in the closet must mean, but I can tell you I perfectly understand why depression and suicide amongst young gay people is much higher than the rest of population.

So thanks for your attempt at open-mindedness, Mr.Panda. I just hope you can understand why I think this thinly veiled homophobia is worse than the obvious. They both do the same damage, but this type of homophobia is seen as justified.
Sep 21 2009 2:11PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
how is it thinly veiled?  i dont care if you are gay or not.  i dont care if you have a boyfriend.  hell, i dont give a shit if i walk in my dorm and see you making out with said boyfriend (ill be a little annoyed by it just like i would be if it was a dude and a girl).  just, when i get pissed at you at the workplace, in class, or in public someplace for doing something moronic like standing next to the edge of a 10 story roof with no harness (this is a workplace example) if you think i think you are an idiot BECAUSE you are gay, then you are a fucking moron that shouldnt be working at the construction site.
Sep 21 2009 2:16PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

i dont use the amendment though.  im half japanese and ive had every single racial slur thrown at me from j*p, to n***er, to s**c, to many others....  and i hated the feeling so why should i say something like "flaming queer" when im annoyed by someone thats gay.  i usually use moron or idiot, but thats what i use to describe straight people that piss me off too.  it would make me a hypocrite to say "flaming queer" or something else like that because if i prefer people dont use deragatory statements towards me why should i use them back wheter or not it is racial, sexual, or any other type of difference between us?

Sep 21 2009 2:24PM
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AskAGaySkier
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10
I'm not defending nor referencing your harness situation in any way and you know it.

Don't defend your PDA statement by substituting something completely unrelated. If thats all you were referencing, then I apologize. But other people definitely say what you said about homo PDA. I want you to realize that it's not a harmless nor acceptable statement.
Sep 21 2009 2:27PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
too bad it's from the old testament so it doesn't count. but it still Hilarius
Sep 21 2009 2:31PM
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1080ski
Posts: 4424 - Karma: 191
I agree with you up until you say that his hate (or dislike) is directed towards only the LGBTQ community. He says that it bothers him when all types of people display PDA in public. I have to agree with him here. There are certainly things acceptable in public, but I don't want to see anybody, gay or straight, making out in public (which happens all the time at parties). Now before you try to use the same logic on me, I will tell you right now that it wont work because I am gay. The rest of your argument is very well thought out but I really think that parts of it do not apply to the person you quoted.
Sep 21 2009 2:35PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
see, PDA in general annoys me though so i dont get why you are getting on my case.
Sep 21 2009 2:37PM
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AskAGaySkier
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10
I'm not saying that you said that or that you would say that. I am saying that saying both "homo PDA pisses me off" and "I can't stand flaming queers and only the flamers" have the same damaging effect. As a target of racial slurs, I hope you can imagine why.
Sep 21 2009 2:37PM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Leviticus and Deuteronomy are clear:

"And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you."

Apparently shrimp is an abomination.

As is touching pig skin, so no more football!

The bible is hilarious.
Sep 21 2009 2:38PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564

i can.

PDA in general though, and im sure everyone can agree on this, is annoying as fuck.

Sep 21 2009 2:40PM
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