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How to be a ski bum?

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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
So I have to write a process analysis essay for my ap lang class and decided to go with the topic on how to be a ski bum. I have some general ideas but need some more creative ones. So if you guys have thought about how to be a ski bum, which im sure many of you have, or if you are a ski bum, I  need some ideas. Comedy within the process would be musch apprectiated along with illustartions. I'll ship some free stickers, beenies, etc.. for good the good ideas. For those who dont know what a process analysis is, its simply a step by step how to process. Thanks NS!!

Plus karma for everyone that contributes too!
Have at it
Mar 15 2009 10:50PM
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MEGAZORD
Posts: 4531 - Karma: -7
step one:  Grow a Beard.
step two:  Repeat Step One.
Mar 15 2009 10:51PM
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Omega2227
Posts: 225 - Karma: 11
Quit your job
find a cheap apartment in the mountains
work at a ski shop
get the baggiest stuff possible
maybe pick up a few snowmobiles
ski every single day until the mountaiin has to shut the lifts down for the stupid bears

rinse and repeat
Mar 15 2009 10:55PM
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Klutch
Posts: 241 - Karma: 18

1. Move to large ski area

2. Grow a big grizzly beard

3. Sleep in car, or bum a bed somewhere

4. Wear old wollen socks, sweaters, etc.

5. Snowbile as main form of transportation

6. Hang out in the chalet and share stories of the 'old day's' with gapers

7. Shred all day everyday

8. Personal hygiene is not really required, shower once a week

This is your stereo type Ski Bum!

Mar 15 2009 11:01PM
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VTtreeskier
Posts: 1833 - Karma: 64
1. Find several jobs over the summer to work up a small bank account.
2. Buy a van
3. When winter arrives quit your job
4. Load the van with a sleeping bag, your ski gear, lots of ramen and cliff bars
5. Park the van infront of a ski resort
6. Go skiing everyday that the mountain is open
7. Repeat the following year
Mar 15 2009 11:02PM
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VTtreeskier
Posts: 1833 - Karma: 64
Fuck almost forgot, make sure the van is also loaded with PBR
Mar 15 2009 11:03PM
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MEGAZORD
Posts: 4531 - Karma: -7
This is most important step. 
Mar 15 2009 11:04PM
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hanksy
Posts: 659 - Karma: 265
I had to do this a few weeks ago but it had to be a presentation, so I just did how to afterbang. Got an A+ and now whenever my someone in my english class turns in a paper they look at me and bob their head
Mar 15 2009 11:20PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
If you work in a ski shop or something i dont think you can really be a ski bum... it definitely has to be a van in the parking lot, and no job.
Mar 15 2009 11:21PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
abuse free food
Mar 15 2009 11:23PM
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kiwi_as
Posts: 421 - Karma: 189
The Ski Bum often lives on a staple diet of Dopesauce, a mix of all the free condiments offered at his/her local mountain, which tends to be spread on the free crackers also offered...
Mar 15 2009 11:30PM
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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
haha thats great. keep em coming.
Mar 15 2009 11:36PM
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triebby
Posts: 8670 - Karma: 2,190
1. Work a ton all summer to earn money for winter.'

2. Move to a sick mountain/town with awesome skiing.

3. Live on the cheap to avoid working during winter so you can ski as much as possible.

4. Ski over 120 days that year.

5. Learn of every stash at mountain of choice and be able to slay everything there.

6. Find summer job.

7. Repeat.
Mar 15 2009 11:59PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
baahahah

pretty much spot on.

make sure its a super messy long beard though...
Mar 16 2009 12:11AM
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epic_line
Posts: 929 - Karma: 32
My dad was a ski bum this is what he did

1: live in a couple resorts over a period of time so don't stay to long at one.
2: live in a small 1 room cabin like that one's at powder king
3: Grow a beard is a must.
4: know every place to ski on you're mountain
5: get a job as a ski instructor or race instructor
Mar 16 2009 12:11AM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
sleep in your car like I do when I go to mount snow.
Mar 16 2009 12:12AM
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asian_andy
Posts: 830 - Karma: 61
well first fuck up high school
cuz of to much day dreaming a sick line in class..
fight with ur parents and listen to them call u a failure
then grab a stash of cash
move to a nice mountain
and ski ski ski
and then ride away
Mar 16 2009 12:13AM
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huge-go
Posts: 1451 - Karma: 33
Step 1- As has been mentioned, grow a beard. If anyone fails at ski bumming, this is where they messed up.
Step 2- Rent cheap apartment.
Step 3- Ski as much as is humanly possible.
Step 4- Go to bar after skiing.
Step 5- Fuck bitches.
Step 6- Get up next day to go skiing (Whether or not you are hung over is irrelevant. If you can stand, you can ski)
Step 7- Repeat.
Mar 16 2009 12:18AM
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huge-go
Posts: 1451 - Karma: 33
Can't forget
Step 8- Repeat steps 1-7 until said hypothetical ski bum dies in an avalanche, or all ligaments and cartilage in knees is gone, and doctors have resorted to rubber bands to hold the knees together due to the state of disrepair they have fallen into.
Mar 16 2009 12:24AM
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,011
So, obviously, the key to being a ski bum is being able to ski all winter.

working in the winter should be avoided at all cost. If your summer wasn't as profitable as expected, the only jobs that should be acceptable are night time jobs.

a lifty is not a ski bum.

everything else is just normal life stuff... well, there's some other stuff that goes with the ski bum lifestyle, but I don't think they're suitable for school.
Mar 16 2009 12:40AM
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Mrvic.
Posts: 1033 - Karma: 154
i plan on being a ski bum for a few years of my life, and see it as a stress free, positive vibe way of living... the fact of living your life in the ski world could provide so many memories to live on in your older years... a little deep but thats how i see it
Mar 16 2009 12:42AM
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VTtreeskier
Posts: 1833 - Karma: 64
I couldn't agree more, and to someone above i don't think fucking up high school is a requirement. Ski bums don't always live that lifestyle because they were lacking in other opportunities from fucking education up, sometimes they just love the skiing lifestyle more than anything else. I did good in highschool and been doing well in college although i do still have time to fuck that up. But there is not a chance that when i get out of college im going to go straight into an important career. I will need to be a ski bum for the segment of my life after school, i need that moment of simplicity and lack of responsibility. And i can't wait for this bum part of my life, its all im thinking about, lil deep sorry
Mar 16 2009 1:06AM
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Mrvic.
Posts: 1033 - Karma: 154
thats exactly right haha nice to see someone who shares the same views as me
Mar 16 2009 1:20AM
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Blandct
Posts: 1858 - Karma: 37
the term ass grass or cash should be largly vissible on the side of the ski bums van
Mar 16 2009 1:21AM
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PULSEofdaNATION
Posts: 426 - Karma: 51
Don't forget to load up on ketchup packets from McDonalds or your favorite fast food place and mix it together with melted snow to make yourself some Tomato Soup. Classic Meal with Lots of Nutrients to keep you going 24/7.
Mar 16 2009 1:31AM
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Shark.
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 270
my dad was a ski bum in jackson while he was in med school.  he planned so all his classes were in the summer and then worked as a bartender during the winter so he just ripped jackson all day errry day.

i plan on following those footsteps.
Mar 16 2009 3:02AM
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epic_line
Posts: 929 - Karma: 32
O ski bums should also smoke a lot of weed
Mar 16 2009 3:22AM
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epic_line
Posts: 929 - Karma: 32
And you shouldn't fail high school you should have a career set up so after you finish ski bumming you can get a job
Mar 16 2009 3:22AM
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sconniestyle
Posts: 3945 - Karma: 26

there is an actual "guide" for this, written by some guys who were serious about ski bumming.

think of it as a "steal this book" for the ski lifestyle.

here is the link to it.

http://skibumsguide.com/ski_bum2.htm

this should be exactly what you need, just don't forget to cite your references!!!

Mar 16 2009 11:21AM
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lemonsteeze
Posts: 49 - Karma: 11

1. poch ski passes

2. radom stuff ( punch a sleeping bum)

3) try to pay for lest stuff possible

4. shread everyday

5.build a cheap jib

Mar 16 2009 2:35PM
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bobross
Posts: 468 - Karma: 11
random pieces of equipment fixed with duct tape
missing one basket from a set of poles

Mar 16 2009 2:56PM
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bobross
Posts: 468 - Karma: 11
oh a fix missing basket with duct tape
Mar 16 2009 2:58PM
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drumbumocdp
Posts: 3229 - Karma: 1,098
haha i was reading this and was like, "oh shit no one has pointed out how stoned ski bums are" so yeah... do drugs
Mar 16 2009 3:15PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
the longer the beard and the sketchier the van makes it harder and harder to find a job giving you more time to ski and eat ramen noodles and drink pbr. moral of the story: grow a long sketchy beard
Mar 16 2009 3:39PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
o also maybe instead of bumming try to save enough money to go to guide school and become a ski or mountain guide, process takes about 10 years so it's good to start early. a guy i know started guide school when he was 18, he guided in whistler, las lenas, portillo, and now guides in verbier in the winter and south america in the summer, he's 29 now and makes a killing as a guide and skis 200+ days a year

that's the life right there

sorry for the dub post
Mar 16 2009 3:43PM
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_ice
Posts: 88 - Karma: 10
hahahhaha i laughed so hard when i read this
Mar 16 2009 3:45PM
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mcweapon
Posts: 175 - Karma: 247
let every decision you make and all the money you spend further your bumming carrier... even if it racks up your credit card into several thousands of dollars of debt - dont pay it off, and then when you do get some money buy some more skis (side note - two new pairs this year ! lol)
Mar 16 2009 4:35PM
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sack
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 147
Learn how to spend as little money as possible. spend a lot of time figuring out how to save money on things, even if it's a difference of only $3.
Mar 16 2009 6:12PM
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Smilemon
Posts: 421 - Karma: 43
It runs in the family for me. My dad used to ski the swiss alps when he lived in Germany. My uncle moved to colorado and started working for poma, then he worked at Arapaho and Keystone. Now he manages matinence for Solvista. My parents used to chill with him and ski for free at Arapaho. I just got back from a week of sleeping in his basement and skiing free at solvista and keystone.

The big deal with ski bumming is you have to make a lot of friends who have friends who have stuff. Back home in AK I ski every weekend, and the people at the areas just get to know you. Pretty soon you know a lifty, he/she lets you on for free, its all good...


Mar 16 2009 6:13PM
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ZachRyan
Posts: 332 - Karma: 2,279
dont forget you need to find a nice lady ski bum to share the costs of living and to cook your food
Mar 16 2009 6:28PM
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Smilemon
Posts: 421 - Karma: 43
6. Live at Kyle's parents house
Mar 16 2009 6:29PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
dreadlocks
you have to have dreadlocks.

Mar 16 2009 6:41PM
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T-Holt
Posts: 5020 - Karma: 639
That "guide" was AWESOME
+ K for bringing that up
Mar 16 2009 6:51PM
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,011
I used to have a ski bum chick to cook me food, but she wasn't core enough and I realized she was lame.

so now I got myself one of those educated ladies (who still loves the shread, but isn't obsessed with it) to cook my food... much better because the expectations aren't as high, and I don't get in trouble when I ditch her on a powder day.
Mar 16 2009 7:29PM
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pjbauer
Posts: 2148 - Karma: 495
.
Mar 16 2009 7:36PM
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
also you need a hat.

need jibersih or something that you wear every day

beard

and don't smoke weed
Mar 16 2009 7:51PM
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keithskibum
Posts: 33 - Karma: 11
Dude it's not that hard:
1) Ski in the morning
2) Ski in the afternoon
3) Ski in the evening
4) Ski at night
5) Ski in your dreams

5 simple steps
Mar 16 2009 8:00PM
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hanklambo
Posts: 6422 - Karma: 233

Hyphy Spring Break 2009 Edit from Henrik Lampert on Vimeo.
Mar 16 2009 10:05PM
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EvanMeyer
Posts: 3822 - Karma: 3,449
Highschool drop out
move to the middle of nowhere in the mountains
live in an igloo with power stolen from the resort a few hundred yards away
ski pow morning afternoon and night
grow your own bud and deal to little kids for spending money
repeat 2-5 in different areas of the world
Mar 16 2009 10:12PM
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AlexGaynor
Posts: 947 - Karma: 148
with afterbang.

but seriously, you may want to include something about upper class ski bums.

i Know a couple, one works bars at nights to pay for the addiction, the other runs an internet business after lifts close.
Mar 16 2009 10:15PM
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