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FREE ROLEX!!!! (Details inside) Ballin Motherfuckers only...

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ryanwar6
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 114
Alright, so I was thinking...

I have this Rolex laying around and I never wear it. It has been sitting in my drawer for the last 2 years and has not seen the light of day since I put it there. So today, I asked myself, "Why do I have a fucking Rolex? Who do I think I am?" The answer was clear... I needed to give it away. Alas, this thread.

Rather than just giving it away to any schmuck, I figured I would give it to someone who truly deserved it; I would make it a contest, if you will. So here are the rules to this so-called contest...

-Post in this thread why you should get my rolex. I don't want some sob story, I want a legitimate reason why you are a ballin motherfucker.

-You must also post something in my other thread... https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/441552/

-The person with the best story/reason by 10PM PST on Wednesday will win the watch.

Here are the requirements...

- You must be in the US
- Your name must not be Julian
- You must be, at least to the untrained eye, a ballin motherfucker
- You must post in this thread and in my other thread... https://newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/441552/
- IF YOU WIN... you must post a picture of you being a balling motherfucker while wearing the watch.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a real Rolex. It also has a dead battery, neither of which will inhibit your ballin'ness.

Love,
Ryan

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Feb 16 2009 2:59PM
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Larz-the-Ninja
Posts: 2976 - Karma: 14
I should get this rolex because my name is Lars
Feb 16 2009 3:01PM
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kthnxbai.
Posts: 2847 - Karma: 179
damn i wouldve if it was a real rolex
Feb 16 2009 3:01PM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
legit im 1500 in debt. helpppppppppp me out! ill make u free ns dinos or somthin
Feb 16 2009 3:04PM
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ryanwar6
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 114
FYI, the idea of the thread is to show me how ballin you are. If I were to give you the watch, would you just show me a picture of you with the watch on holding up your credit card bills?

Please try again.
Feb 16 2009 3:08PM
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TheSpaceCowboy
Posts: 1353 - Karma: 31
I should get the rolex because once i stop living in have a house imma be a millionaire mother fucker and i need all that bling son. I need that to rock at all my press confrences. Hell imma be a millionaire just for wearing that watch. If i get that balla status watch i will start the new fad of Ski bling over the coats son.
Feb 16 2009 3:17PM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
ll hold up a big bag of the dankest
Feb 16 2009 3:17PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
And that is probably why you are in debt....

Not baller
Feb 16 2009 3:19PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
I dont think....I know im the most ballin muh fucker on this website. I deserve this straight ballin watch cuz im a certified G. Unlike most these bitches, i wont wear this watch with raggy ass clothes, I stayed g'd up from tha feet up. I really do make it rain, i think its bout time somebody gave back.
Nice ass watch man. dope as hell.
Feb 16 2009 3:33PM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32
Some moons ago I dated this girl, shes a lovey dubby kind but would put on on occasion~ Fun right? but of course~ This one specific timel we were over one of our friends house whom we knew well~ Now friend, Shenaynay lets call her, had quite the largest pair of sock em boppers Ive ever seen in a shirt~ this intrigued me considering my at the time girl could make a leveler bubble be right in the middle~ I wanted those, and I wanted them tonight~ So of course I set of on my plan to set game, but also while keeping a wary eye for my girl~ Then it hit me, im not a douchebag, I cant cheat on her~ But if she comes along for the ride its not cheating~ So new game plan, turn my girlfriend into a lesbian for the night~ I stratigically planned a seat on the couch in between both and hoped for the best~ Knowing that Shanynay is quite the frisky one, I quickly survied my surroundings as to what I can get her going with~ Up on a shelf was a personal back massagers, one of the kind that cost around $20 at Bed Bath and Beyond and come in cool colors~ I get up, snag, sit down and turn on~ I "pretend " to drop it right inbetween her legs~ Perfect spot~ I of course dropping it have to retrieve and so I do~ but not before putting slight pressure on it~ This got her on~ Over the course of 20 minutes she starts to discretely grab my crotch~ Mv girl sees this and womanly instincts of challenges is fuled~ She starts to kiss me, Shanaynay's crotch grabbing turns into rubbing~ I start enjov but take a second to get mv bearings and survey the situtation~ What did I come here for, those boobs~ I was on a mission and I was going to accomplish it~ I realize I had free hands and  dive in the shirt for those bags of joy~ My girl starts to get ontop of me and starts to ride through mv pants~ At this point clothes have to come off, its only natural~ I take her shirt off and so does Shanaynay~ To skip the details because this is already to long, I end up getting a bj while my girl is eating out Shanaynay~ from there its more of a fingerbang train~ I curse myself to this day for not bringing rubber with me


Feb 16 2009 3:46PM
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Dr_Feelgood
Posts: 1176 - Karma: 15
i'm such a ballin motherfucker i don't even need your watch. and i can do a backflip.
Feb 16 2009 3:48PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
you could pay me the cost of shipping that, keep it, and Ill bump your thread for you? lol but good contest
Feb 16 2009 3:55PM
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FreestyleSkier89
Posts: 644 - Karma: 49
im a ballin motherfucker because...


I borrowed a diamond necklace from my roomate a while back ... and about a month ago i farted on his pillow as a joke.. he got pink eye foreal... i told him i farted on his pillow... he cried and requested a room change... moved out... and still to this day i have this dorm room all the myself because no one else was put in after the incident.


since then.. ive taken over all 4 dressers with my ballin ass shit, pushed both beds together and mad a king size bed... AND moved in my best friend who dropped out of school without housing ever knowing. he sleeps on the futon my parents bought for me..


Funny enough.. ive worn my ex-roomates necklace every day since the incident happend and hes been to afraid to ask for it back.




Feb 16 2009 7:13PM
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hossman
Posts: 33 - Karma: 11
i should get this watch because i have three middle names, and they are walter, guido, and otto.......oh and im a ballin ass mothafucka.
Feb 16 2009 7:21PM
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Dub_Digital
Posts: 2794 - Karma: 636
yo yo yo

Im gunna make this short and simple. Im not gunna right a huge essay like he did ^ . Imma make it short. K I wake up everyday pretty mad gangster imo. Allz I really need is a rolex to add to my corporate persona, thats really what its all about having mad swag, makin money doin what you got to do, keepin it corporate as fuck, and of course skiing evverryday. Now Im sure you already know know this given the contents of your other threads. I need this, so I can keep my game on lock, and others can see the effects of the mad product I flow.


corporate thuggin motherfucker
Feb 16 2009 7:23PM
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AlexGaynor
Posts: 947 - Karma: 148
4 words:
ery day im hustlin
Feb 16 2009 7:26PM
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PancakeShake
Posts: 1508 - Karma: 175
And this watch will pull him out of debt and his boss will see the watch and instantly provide him with a $500,000 raise...
Feb 16 2009 7:31PM
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Loges
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 21
winner
Feb 16 2009 7:39PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
Im definately the most ballin becuase i rape bitches and get money, yo
Feb 16 2009 7:43PM
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backcountry479
Posts: 380 - Karma: 4
give me the watch now. because if you dont then when you wake up tommorow ill fly my private jet over there whereing (my real rolex) and some other ballin shit and i will take the watch.
Feb 16 2009 7:58PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
Most people who can afford a private jet have had a good enough education to be able to spell "wearing" so I'm gonna have to call shenanigans.
Feb 16 2009 8:03PM
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backcountry479
Posts: 380 - Karma: 4

haha my bad go into his other thread you will see the other part of my plan

Feb 16 2009 8:07PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
A graphical representation of why I deserve this watch:

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Feb 16 2009 8:08PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
Pac was more than 50%
Feb 16 2009 8:33PM
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oldskewl
Posts: 457 - Karma: 10
I'll tell you why I'm the ballinist motherfucker on this sight. You know the movie 21 was based on a book right?

Well the name of the book is called bringing down the house. The main character is an amalgam of several people. I am one of the stories in that book

I can also prove it beyond even a shadow of a doubt

I have laid down serious money with an edge all over the world. I havent worked a "Real Job" in years. I AM FUKIN BALLER.
Feb 16 2009 8:36PM
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norm.storm
Posts: 97 - Karma: 35
I decided to look up the word "ballin" on urban dictionary. I found this as the second definition.
2.ballin1 up, 2 down [IMG]urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsup.gif[/IMG][IMG]urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsdown.gif[/IMG]
Vagily inserting crystal meth, for men it is manginnaly inserting crystal meth


After reading this definition I decided that I would no long refer to myself as "ballin", instead I will consider my everyday activities as "balling". First off no real "baller" would ever use slang terms, and I doubt that you would ever see Bill Gates use incorrect grammar or incorrect spelling. I don't really care if I receive this fake Rolex, but I am happy that I was able to bring realization to the masses on the ignorance of their everyday lives.

- True Baller
Feb 16 2009 8:41PM
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dwhite
Posts: 1499 - Karma: 32
i had one but it broke :(
Feb 16 2009 9:29PM
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Cudder.
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 307
im just a ballin motha fucka that is why i deserve this watch
Feb 16 2009 9:32PM
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TheSpaceCowboy
Posts: 1353 - Karma: 31
-balla points because he cant post pictures
Feb 16 2009 9:42PM
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Bong_Master
Posts: 975 - Karma: 177
line 09 is not ballin
Feb 16 2009 10:45PM
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Commonwealth
Posts: 3729 - Karma: 11
graphs are ballin' - give it to this guy!
Feb 16 2009 10:52PM
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ryanwar6
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 114
This shit reached the 3rd page... how sad. Anyway, I have another addition to the thread. There are now two possible rolexs you can win!!! Here is a picture of the next Rolex...

Click for larger image

The watch is obviously Ballin' as fuck... blinged out diamonds surround the face, it is silver with gold accents, you can't get better.

The watch is not running, and because it is self winding, I don't think it will be easy to fix, but it is good eye-candy.

Sane rules apply, only now there are two watches and the 1st place entry gets choice of the two.
Feb 17 2009 4:37PM
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billferd
Posts: 128 - Karma: 14
win
Feb 17 2009 5:50PM
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feedbacker
Posts: 543 - Karma: 14
This is hands down, the best thread I have ever seen on NS.
Feb 17 2009 6:21PM
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coolhandluke
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 153
http://www.jamphat.com/rap/
Feb 17 2009 6:42PM
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ladecker
Posts: 118 - Karma: 23
Alright... I dont want to piss on anybodys parade here but just putin out a little FYI. I used to work at a high end jewelry store and we would to apprasals on many different items such as rolex's. Now I wasnt a wizz at it or anything but just by the pictures the watch is not a genuine Rolex. a genuine Rolex has a date magnification of about a 2.5 and a very clear bezal. Fake or counterfiet Rolex's have a magnification of about 1.5. eventhough these pictures are at an angle it appears that the magnification is not as large as what it should.

not callin anybody out or anything just making some observations.

A picture taken directly over the top of the watch and a picture of the back casing of the watch would be a clarify any confusion.
Feb 17 2009 7:13PM
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GratefulDead
Posts: 3554 - Karma: 84
I should get this watch because one time at my school i tried to be a pure baller and play knock out and i scored a touchdown and i threw the soccerball down and i got in trouble and had to go to the principals. The next day a teacher in my school gave us a pop quiz about what time it was and she covered up the clock and at that point I was thinking "damn I wish i had a fake rolex with a dead battery". Thanks for reading that and I am not responsible for all the deaths that occur after this is read.
Feb 17 2009 7:19PM
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titsLOL
Posts: 7485 - Karma: 396
I should win this rolex so I can smash it on the ground and buy a legit baller watch.
Feb 17 2009 7:19PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
From the OP. Learn to read

"DISCLAIMER: This is not a real Rolex. It also has a dead battery, neither of which will inhibit your ballin'ness."
Feb 17 2009 7:24PM
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ladecker
Posts: 118 - Karma: 23
ahhhh FUCK ME!!!!

I just read that right before I read your post.... damn i knew my watch knowledge would never get any real use.... FUCK!
Feb 17 2009 7:32PM
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hlc123
Posts: 248 - Karma: 9
i was about to say that
people need to learn how to fucking read
Feb 17 2009 7:32PM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
That made my night
Feb 17 2009 7:34PM
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hlc123
Posts: 248 - Karma: 9
im sure kids will keep posting stories explaining why they want the rolex...even though you can buy them at any flea market for 10$ hah
Feb 17 2009 7:37PM
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ryanwar6
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 114
We have a winner everyone. Contest is over. This man had made a clear and concise case as to why he is ballin'.

/sarcasm. Keep posting your stories people, we have some good applicants so far. Some people need to look at the rules again, but mostly so far we have some good applications.

Love,
Ryan
Feb 17 2009 7:42PM
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KillerMonkey
Posts: 6436 - Karma: 109
well one way scammers get around that is that they just increase the size of font so it looks like its a 2.5x magnification. anyways, im so ballin I dont need that fake rolex because what good is the fake one when I have the real one on my wrist right now
Feb 17 2009 7:51PM
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Horizon
Posts: 368 - Karma: 21
You guys don't get what he did here.  He tricked you.  See if you were a true baller.........you wouldn't need/want his watch.  So if you posted on why you deserve it, you are actually out of the running.   What cunning evil muhahaha. 
Feb 17 2009 8:01PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
word im so baller, i dont even need it, it would just go into my rolex collection right next to my coogie suits (thats pretty damn baller)
Feb 17 2009 8:32PM
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Commonwealth
Posts: 3729 - Karma: 11
did you just say......coogie suits?

wtf is a coogie suit? i've heard of GUCCI, but coogie must be too ballin' for me.
Feb 17 2009 9:00PM
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bdieter1d3
Posts: 279 - Karma: 15
i'm so ballin i turned down playing college basketball to ski in the winter instead.
Feb 17 2009 9:09PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
Dear Ryan,

I would like ta bring ta ya’lls attention da fact that meh deserve this magnificent piece o’ jewelry. As ya’ll can see in da picture o’ me below, meh enjoy gold jewelry. ta illustrate how much meh enjoy da thang meh decided ta wear that necklace as seen below. da thang weighs 58 pounds an’ da thang borrowed 3 niggas ta get da thang on me which further complements mah desire ta look fiiiiine. meh now haz chronic neck an’ spine problems an’ will most likely die in 3 months due ta stress on da back o’ mah neck an’ fracturing 6 vertebrae in mah spine. However, da thang waz all fo’ style ta show ya’ll how much this Rolex means ta me. meh hope ya’ll consider mah passion fo’ gold jewelry in ya’lls decision ta hand over this precious gem.

Love, Hoopdaddynapuffnigga

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Feb 17 2009 9:23PM
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Keyjibbs
Posts: 1542 - Karma: 96
To be a baller you have to have material things and throw them away like you don't give a fuck which you are doing right now so you sir are showing ballerness to the max. I didn't come here to compliment you I came here to show everyone about how ballerness is truly achieved. There are average ballers with bapes, air force ones, jordans and other such shoes. I like to cut out the middle man so I have a sweatshop in my basement. Ya thats right fuck the shoe corps I have a full sweatshop producing my shoes. Another aspect of ballerness is what you eat. Broke ass mother fuckers will east day old fast food. Not I. Whats that you say, your a fan of archecology. Well I have the last 2 t-rex eggs in my fridge. Those bitches are 4 million years old. Now I was thinking what would be a suitable baller topping for 4 million year old t-rex eggs. Well the only baller thing there is to do is sprinkle some mutha fuckin diamonds on them. Not only is it the most baller shit you can do to your food it makes your doo-doo twinkle. Back on the topic of material things. I have a white panda coat that Hulk Hogan choked out for me on my birthday last year. If thats not baller enough the inside of the coat is bald eagle. My crib in furnished with 2 million dollar chandeliers covered in chicken bones from my most expensive meals. So my final point is that ballers don't give a fuck which you show, I also will show ballerness with the watch. Once I'm tired of looking at the diamonds on my wrist I then will give another Newschooler the chance to be baller. That way we make the world a more ballerness place.

The End.
Feb 17 2009 9:40PM
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