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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
i thought the same thing.. but maybe he is calling her a gaper for saying something so obvious? im not sure..
Mar 3 2011 8:38PM
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cwillygood
Posts: 6831 - Karma: 1,829
some little kid on the chair asked me if i could 360...i was like yup........kid: NOOOO WAYY
Mar 3 2011 8:45PM
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Deezy
Posts: 4580 - Karma: 1,004
or if its a nice racer pole, slide ur edge down the whole pole and take off that pretty paint.
much like keying a car.
then hand it back and tell them to stop throwing their poles, its dangerous for other people on the hill.

Me:"this run is closed" race training in progress on double black diamond...obvi (im working on this run)
gaper family: "i bet my daughter can ski down this hill better and faster then any of you racers"
Me:"oh yeah?"
Gaper mother:"YEAH! Just watch her!"
the whole ski team skis the course and looks back up at the family sitting on the pitch throwin their skis to the bottom and sliding down on their asses. im at the top helping them down the hill... fucking gapers piss me off. especially when they do things like that. ski a run that they cant do and put themselves in a very dangerous blindspot.




Mar 3 2011 10:39PM
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bromigo
Posts: 630 - Karma: 20
I roll in the park and a kid stops me and is like "hey man are you sponsered?" and im like "lolwut?" then he says "your helmet has stickers on it" then i double face palm and ride away.
Mar 3 2011 10:59PM
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Evilchris
Posts: 2090 - Karma: 44
this sounds totally real
Mar 3 2011 11:03PM
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AHSkier
Posts: 563 - Karma: 42
48 degrees, sunny. on the chair next to a gaper

gaper: jeesus it's freezing, is it always this cold on the mountain
me:....... yeah
gaper: im getting frostbite im going in to the lodge.
Mar 3 2011 11:57PM
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jakobk
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
once my friends was hitting the jump line in our park and there was a snowboarder chick sitting on the landing. he didn't see her until the last second, but luckily he changes course right as he is on the lip of the jump. his skis went about 10 inches from her head, and they land on her snowboard which was vertical. his skis hit the end of her board. His skis pushed her board downhill (her base was downhill and when he landed her base was uphill). she flew about 2-3 feet in the air and slid like 10 feet down the landing.
Mar 4 2011 8:33PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
so today me and my friend are heading in to train the last jump in the okemo park (the step up).  first of all this gaper dad has all his kids hit the cannon box above the step up and none of them have speed so they all get stuck halfway up it.  then this guy decides to do some carving turns in the run in to the jump.  he cut me off so i stopped but my friend kept going.  my friend hits the jump but the gaper takes a big turn and now is standing in the middle of the knuckle.  if he had gone a foot farther my friend would have hit him and both of them would be very hurt now.  then he takes the family into hot dog hill and they all fall on the tiny jumps and flat boxes, i laughed
Mar 4 2011 8:54PM
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crab_pretzel
Posts: 3919 - Karma: 622
yea i was thinking the same thing. what a little doucher. this story makes me mad too about how the kid can just get his dad to pull his pass or whatev. too much of that these days
Mar 4 2011 11:42PM
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x-mann
Posts: 59 - Karma: 143
Kid that tried skiing with us today was wearing the red and white air raid jacket with some Burton or something denim snowpants say that he is " Like a hybrid between Shawn White and Simon Dumont " We just gave him a funny stare and ended up ditching him.
Mar 4 2011 11:45PM
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Dwarftosser1
Posts: 2602 - Karma: 951
you sound like a dick
Mar 4 2011 11:53PM
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ViktorVaughn
Posts: 173 - Karma: 10
circa 2005 as I'm going for my first rail, taking a few falls, "skiers can't do rails, that's why it's a snowboard park"

People watching the small park "those guys are crazy"

Mar 5 2011 12:52AM
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x-mann
Posts: 59 - Karma: 143
Um if some weird kid comes up and ask to ski with you would you let him? Yeah so we let him. Then he he just kept talking like he was all that and was so good at everything yet could barely 3 a small jump... So yes we kinda ditched him.
Mar 5 2011 1:03PM
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AHSkier
Posts: 563 - Karma: 42
woah 69 pages
Mar 5 2011 4:11PM
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nCrow
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 7,887
A couple weeks ago my brother was asked if it was safe to wear mirrored lenses cause you can't see out of them
Mar 5 2011 4:31PM
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Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
today on a pow day, I saw 2 kids (obvious nsers) that stayed in the park all day, complained that the powder was making the inruns for the rails slow and could barely make it down the black diamond run to get to the park. I almost cried.
Mar 5 2011 7:08PM
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sammy_
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 467
it happens at my mountain too sometimes. i got hit with one and it hurt so much so my older brother took it snapped it against his knee then threw the remainders of the pole in the woods. besides the fact of getting hit with a pole, it was hilarious and the kid start flipping out.
Mar 6 2011 3:20PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
haha, MOMMA I NEED NEW KIDS POLES
Mar 6 2011 3:51PM
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sammy_
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 467
haha exactly!
Mar 6 2011 5:44PM
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BITS
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 866
i would love to see someone do that one day! :)
Mar 6 2011 6:01PM
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sammy_
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 467
SAME! if they instantly called their mom or dad being like MOMMY, DADDY this mean kid snapped my pole after i threw it at them!! can you buy me knew cool ones? parents: OF COURSE!
Mar 6 2011 8:52PM
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switchington
Posts: 277 - Karma: 14
Summary of the thread:

"Oh one time this kid with his goggles outside his helmet said to me: dude you must be pro, because you can do a whirlybird and your skis are water skis so i skied away from him

i don't think i'm a dick."
Mar 9 2011 5:09PM
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ViktorVaughn
Posts: 173 - Karma: 10
maybe its just me but i dont even see what's funny about losing a pole, let alone losing a pole while hurting someone. people do the stupidest shit.
Mar 9 2011 5:24PM
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.squirrely.
Posts: 7563 - Karma: 7,546
haha i used to say the same thing when i was like 5 that boxes were for skiers and rails were for snowboarders because you cant go straight on a rail.  i used to be a HUGE gaper
Mar 9 2011 6:00PM
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Fluttershy
Posts: 586 - Karma: 763
these are halarious lol my dads a gaper :P
Mar 9 2011 6:13PM
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jakobk
Posts: 308 - Karma: 11
"your so fat your pants fall down!"
Mar 9 2011 7:11PM
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infuser
Posts: 1220 - Karma: 241

talking about whistler, he proceeds to say "whistler has a quadrouple black"

me: theres no such thing, theres only a few triple blacks and theyre just for marketing

him: its not on the trail map, its for the people training for the olympics

me: (to avoid argument) oh!

Mar 9 2011 7:42PM
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Jabe
Posts: 567 - Karma: 240
today my mountain closed early cuz some was blown off the chairlift
Mar 9 2011 9:54PM
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Broken_Rides
Posts: 334 - Karma: 224

Building a kicker on a rail by a school, 3 girls walk by. I was trying to be nice

Girl 1: What you doing?

Me: Building a jump onto this rail so I can slide down it.

Girl 2: That's dangerous [I turn my music up] more words

Girl 1: You're gonna wreck your snowboard, because that thing's, like, metal...

Me: First off I ski. Second snowboarding's for little bitches. And Third I can always fix them or get a new pair.

Girl 1: Why don't you skate on ice?

Me: Ummm... I don't play hockey anymore, so I don't really got a use for it.

Girl 1: Why are you skating on snow?

Me: SKIING.

Girl 1: I know. Why don't you skate on ice. Skates don't work on snow.

Girl 3: Tasha! S-k-i-i-n-g.

Girl 2: [face palm]

They wandered off over to the school to get some books or something, and I had to pass them to get my skis out of my truck. I think the one girl was semi retarded or something, cus she managed to drag me into the exact same coversation.

Mar 9 2011 10:22PM
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whitepowder
Posts: 6 - Karma: 10
why didn't u manage to make her suck ur dick maaaan ... only if one of em was hot.

neverthelss hope you had fun that session
Mar 9 2011 11:08PM
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theone^er
Posts: 31 - Karma: 286
im on the lift and this snowboarder is hitting one of the jumps in the park. he lands in the middle of the table and just explodes... yells back to his friend and says " don't hit it this jump sucks"
Mar 10 2011 12:22AM
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theone^er
Posts: 31 - Karma: 286
im on the lift and this snowboarder is hitting one of the jumps in the park. he lands in the middle of the table and just explodes. Goggles, hat, and gloves just everywhere... yells back to his friend and says " don't hit it. this jump sucks"

Mar 10 2011 12:29AM
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Broken_Rides
Posts: 334 - Karma: 224

I'm 19 and they were probably under 16. I got no intention of meeting some guy named Bubba (not including James Stewart)

I might dig out my jock shorts for next time. I think I popped my urban cherry.

Mar 10 2011 11:46AM
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YooperSteeze
Posts: 1248 - Karma: 45
Life gaper story. In chemistry class we were playing a fucked up version of jeopardy that we had to write the answer on the board. I wrote really fast and sloppy and won it, and this kid called me out and said "what is that, hebrew?" and this dumb bitch said "is hebrew that stuff for blind people?"
Mar 12 2011 8:08PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
That kind of kids are the worst gapers... they might be able to 270 on switchup 450 out, but they can't make a few steep turns to a cliff drop or straightline a narrow chute. What's worse is they give you shit for sketchily sliding a flat bar without any fancy twirly-loops on the way back to the chairlift...
Mar 12 2011 8:12PM
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Imagination
Posts: 2501 - Karma: 73
Yeah I know, I hate kids that do that shit.

And it's not really a quote, but I saw some kid who must've been like 9 or so have his dad buy him a pair of Line Pin poles that went up past his shoulders... And I'm not sure either of them knew it was possible to cut them down.
Mar 12 2011 8:57PM
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Njens.
Posts: 1688 - Karma: 46
69 lol
Mar 12 2011 8:58PM
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-Marc-
Posts: 865 - Karma: 207
I broke my humerus a couple weeks ago, more than a few times people come up to me and ask me what I did and I'll say I fell in the park skiing. They'll answer "Snowboarding?"
Mar 13 2011 3:59PM
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Turnup_swiperigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 108
Talking about gopros
-Gaper: Whats a gopro?
-Me: its a helmet cam
-Gaper: why would you want that? all you would see is snow.


I proceeded to walk away.
Mar 13 2011 4:23PM
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doGelyst
Posts: 2492 - Karma: 509
this thread is always good to come to for an occasional laugh
Mar 13 2011 4:37PM
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pimpcat
Posts: 858 - Karma: 321

I do this... Why is this bad? I'll steal my brothers poles and practice my pole plants

Mar 14 2011 2:14AM
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snowbombz
Posts: 2456 - Karma: 96
i teach ski lessons and i swear every other day i hear "skiers don't ski pipe" and "rails are for snowboarders" and "my mom says skiers can't go in the park".

I actually got mad at a parent once who told me that her kid was going to fallow the rules and not sneak into the park like all the other skiers do.

what have these parents done to their children?
Mar 14 2011 3:50AM
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Dan.P
Posts: 1351 - Karma: 12
haha shit, I thought this only happened in jokes
Mar 14 2011 5:14AM
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sammy_
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 467
simple answer- brain washed them back to the past where it was called a snowboarding park that skiers couldnt go into.

what a boring time for skiers....
Mar 14 2011 8:58AM
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Park_Ranger
Posts: 3825 - Karma: 8,635
how do you do a 360
Mar 14 2011 9:32AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
it only happens in threads about made up gaper stories
Mar 14 2011 11:12AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
it only happens in threads about made up gaper stories
Mar 14 2011 11:12AM
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Scrambles
Posts: 2270 - Karma: 63
this one is 4 realz though. They could literally not get down the black diamond, but could 270 on and do switchups and stuff. It was weird.
Mar 14 2011 11:23AM
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SeattleMOBSTER
Posts: 113 - Karma: 49
Gaper in line next to me pointing at my One Life's rocker: dude, are you're skis broken? Me: yes, yes they are...
Mar 15 2011 3:21AM
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Jibber@ish
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
Gaper kid: "Wow, you look like a pro"
Me: "I am" (beeing sarcastic)
Kid: "You know how to backflip?"
Me: "No, I only do triple corks"
Kid: "What's that?"
Me: "Just the sickest trick ever"
Kid: (Kid wiggles his eyes for a bit, then akward silence and he skis off)
Me: I yell at him as he is skiing away; "I was just kidding, but yeah, I know how to backflip"
Kid: (Suddenly stops and starts stumbling up the hill towards me)
Kid: "OMG, are you sponsored?"
Mar 15 2011 5:16PM
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