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wiping your ass.

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ductapeboy
Posts: 3328 - Karma: 11
k so.... I was taking a shit the other day - and I have gotten too lazy to close the door lately... so my gf is standing there... and she looks in the door and I'm wiping my ass... and she is like - what the hell are you doing? and I'm like - I'm wiping my ass.... and she is like - why are you still sitting down. and I was like - cuz thats how you wipe your ass. and so she was like - I wipe my ass standing up. and I was like - you what? so yea I was wondering who the freak was. me - the sitter, or my girlfriend - the stander?


Dave Pauls
www.corbettsskishop.com

I like dead kittens.
May 25 2003 12:07AM
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*Neil
Posts: 2591 - Karma: 75
Wait a second.. u guyz wipe your asss?
---------------------------
THE POWER IS YOURS

Our world is in peril. Gaia, the Spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plagueing our planet. She sends five magic rings to five special young people: Kwame, from Africa, with the power of Earth. From North America, Wheeler, with the power of Fire. From Eastern Europe, Linka, with the power of Wind. From Asia, Gi, with the power of Water. And from South America, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart. When the five powers combine, they summon Earth's greatest champion, Captain Planet!
May 31 2003 12:13AM
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P-JO
Posts: 6853 - Karma: 75
who ever wipes thar ass is a freak....
IM out like a blind kid in laser tag
May 31 2003 12:36AM
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sherLocke
Posts: 4701 - Karma: 8
dont take shits during passing then squirrel lady. take a pass during lunch or something. speedy shits can hurt too in certain situations where one is needed. like on a great day of skiing you have to shit real bad and run inside cuz youve been holding it and putting off takin a shit. but its gotten so bad your running and when you get on the can with everything on still even your gloves cuz u had no time to waste you just push it out so fst it hurts, and its like fuck whyd i put off taking a shit, what a dumbass i am. thats the worst cuz ive done it once. and then i wanted to get back on the mountain so i wiped like twice and didnt even really look. i had lots of crust for the rest of the day but it was an epic day so it didnt matter. man that had nothing to do with anything...
peace,paul


'handin out flyers is jus fuckin ridiculous...when you give somebody a flyer its like...say man...why dont you go throw this out for me?'
-mitch hedburg

'is mick nick and mike wilson the same people?'
-//d-lite//
May 31 2003 10:59PM
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sherLocke
Posts: 4701 - Karma: 8
that was really funny, but i hope your not even close to serious martin. in school you gotta take a shit right on the seat so nobody else can use it for the rest of the day, plus it looks really funny, just a big log chillin on the seat stankin up the bathroom.


'handin out flyers is jus fuckin ridiculous...when you give somebody a flyer its like...say man...why dont you go throw this out for me?'
-mitch hedburg

'is mick nick and mike wilson the same people?'
-//d-lite//
May 31 2003 11:22PM
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Ds91260
Posts: 9984 - Karma: 19
bahahahahahahahahahahahaha, then he sniffs it really hard and screams 'POOPY!'
----------------------------------

'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis the great

'i knew a kid at 12 who didnt know how to masturbate, until i showed him el porno' - petek

Newschool Underground, cleanin up NS, one bitch at a time

**NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND**
May 31 2003 11:56PM
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SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
On the way to hood, we found a log sitting in the sink of a gas station bathroom. It was gross, but hilarious at the same time.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
Jun 1 2003 12:04AM
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threejay
Posts: 2584 - Karma: 15
i didnt even know anybody stood up to wipe their ass...weird..i never even thought of standing up before.



well to keep it real I started being a Poser Poser. I dress and act like a poser, but i'm not really a poser. I just pose to look like a poser posing. you know just keepin it underground
-youthinasia
Jun 1 2003 1:11PM
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jono
Posts: 1744 - Karma: 22
some guys last year in my school all took turns shitting in the same toilet without flushing, then one of them dropped a grapefruit in it, from the roof. ugghhhh.
Jun 1 2003 1:52PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
i used to be a stander, but i just tried 'the lean' and now i have no idea how i ever lived with standig. o
Jun 1 2003 9:56PM
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weazelzb
Posts: 4454 - Karma: 12
standings the way too go


hoked on foniks wurked fur me.kant u tel?
jigga say wha??

They call me Zaxl Roze.. bitch
Your Daddy works in porno, now that your mommies not around. She used to love her heroin but now shes underground.~ Guns N' Roses My Michelle
Jun 1 2003 10:00PM
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SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
no, the lean is most def where it's at.

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
Jun 1 2003 10:02PM
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sherLocke
Posts: 4701 - Karma: 8
no im gonna have to stay with the stand. and for some more bathroom humor, last year the senior prank in my school was to flush every toilet in the school at the same time, they organized it so when the bell rang they would do it. the pipes couldnt handle it all and some of them burst open and flooded the halls with urine and shit, it was nasty and they got in HUGE trouble, i think they had to go to court and shit and they payed a bunch of fines and got community service.
peace,paul


'handin out flyers is jus fuckin ridiculous...when you give somebody a flyer its like...say man...why dont you go throw this out for me?'
-mitch hedburg

'is mick nick and mike wilson the same people?'
-//d-lite//
Jun 1 2003 10:06PM
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SaraJ
Posts: 366 - Karma: 52
for flushing a 'few' toilets? Hahaha

-Sara

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Member of the OTC!

Skiing is not for the simple minded, that's why they invented the snowboard.

skihood.com
Jun 1 2003 10:07PM
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sherLocke
Posts: 4701 - Karma: 8
it was so rank the school stunk for like three days. we have probabaly like 100 toilets in total in my school including the urinals so it was a lot of shit, no pun intended


'handin out flyers is jus fuckin ridiculous...when you give somebody a flyer its like...say man...why dont you go throw this out for me?'
-mitch hedburg

'is mick nick and mike wilson the same people?'
-//d-lite//
Jun 2 2003 9:40PM
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mikee
Posts: 7813 - Karma: 5
classic

-MiKeE LiFsHiTz-

***NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND***
Jun 2 2003 9:43PM
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mikee
Posts: 7813 - Karma: 5
Ive actually had blood on my TP as well, I think I wipe my ass to harshly.

-MiKeE LiFsHiTz-

***NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND***
Jun 2 2003 9:50PM
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Ds91260
Posts: 9984 - Karma: 19
^been takin it up the ass often eh...
----------------------------------

'thats when you smack them upside the head and say 'yo bitch,i know this aint tennis but im a use my backhand!'' - Lateralis the great

'i knew a kid at 12 who didnt know how to masturbate, until i showed him el porno' - petek

Newschool Underground, cleanin up NS, one bitch at a time

**NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND**
Jun 2 2003 9:58PM
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NomenClature
Posts: 4348 - Karma: 83
you know how he is. you know GAY, hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha that wasn't that funny.
________________________

my teacher : don't smoke pot it makes you stupid
ME : shut up bitch
My teach : go to the office and don't talk to me that way
ME : fuck you im leaving
Teach : go to the office
ME : no, but im leaving
Teach : where do you think your going
ME : to smoke a blunt you flaming hippie fag.

that would be funny, the real exchange was not nearly as graphic. but the same ending.
Jun 2 2003 10:22PM
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mikee
Posts: 7813 - Karma: 5
hey man you at 1000 and no it wasnt. And the ass is the best way.

-MiKeE LiFsHiTz-

***NEWSCHOOL UNDERGROUND***
Jun 2 2003 10:24PM
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Dominic
Posts: 256 - Karma: 10
if i told someone about that prank at my skool the word would spread and sum idiot would eventualy do it------it would be to funny
=============================
Are you trying to be stupid?
If I am will it get me out of class earlier?

Long live SpongeBob SquarePants
Jun 3 2003 5:03PM
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221
Posts: 3488 - Karma: 11
the best is shitting in the toilet tank so the next person flushes and the toilet only gets nastier as shit flakes swirl into the bowl.

-------------------
'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'
'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

'He's from Quebec. They pee on the lawn.'
Jun 3 2003 5:07PM
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five0
Posts: 11466 - Karma: 36
i am just wondering how the hell you come up with these threads..what a lifestyle
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

(your ad here)

-kevan

Jun 3 2003 6:31PM
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SkeeOrDye
Posts: 4027 - Karma: 42
never heard of anyone whiping while sitting till now. i stand, thats wat all the cool ppl doo.
Jun 3 2003 6:36PM
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Dominic
Posts: 256 - Karma: 10
ya this thread topic is queer and so's the how much do you masterbate one you must not have a lot to do if you post this stuff even if it's funny
=============================
Are you trying to be stupid?
If I am will it get me out of class earlier?

Long live SpongeBob SquarePants
Jun 3 2003 6:51PM
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Parkboy
Posts: 2303 - Karma: 32
221, that is funny shit, maybe i'll try that
Jun 3 2003 11:56PM
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thejackal1177
Posts: 3434 - Karma: 2,724
i can wipe my own ass
*young but sick!!!*
*ride line all the way*
*redsox suck*
*yankees rock*

Jun 4 2003 11:48AM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
dude in some parts of france you cant sit down on the toilets and when you flush if you dont move your feet you get fludded with your junk.


One time I heard a skiboarder tell me they can have style. I shit my pants and ran home- West
Oct 4 2003 4:14AM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
dude, stop bringing all these threads back
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13 year old whores......now we're talking! - Lateralis
Oct 4 2003 4:39AM
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ElasmoSkiChick
Posts: 5089 - Karma: 28
Yeah seriously, shibby! You're bringing all kinds of things back tonight!


-Sarah Daulton Oates
a.k.a. Sarz or Oatesie
Oct 4 2003 4:41AM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
wo 2 threads big deal anyways there probably better than half the other threads here.


One time I heard a skiboarder tell me they can have style. I shit my pants and ran home- West
Oct 4 2003 4:43AM
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Krongos
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 47
his icon is funny, lego men rule
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Maguire
Yankees Suck

'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson
Oct 4 2003 4:45AM
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ElasmoSkiChick
Posts: 5089 - Karma: 28
I didn't say it was a bad thing, and I also didn't realize it was only two. I thought it was more than that, sorry. And you're right, they are MUCH better than most of the threads currently on the first page of the NSG. Unfortunate, really


-Sarah Daulton Oates
a.k.a. Sarz or Oatesie
Oct 4 2003 4:47AM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
no problemo


One time I heard a skiboarder tell me they can have style. I shit my pants and ran home- West
Oct 4 2003 4:49AM
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Krongos
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 47
yeah, somebody think of something interesting/funny
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Maguire
Yankees Suck

'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson
Oct 4 2003 4:50AM
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Natedawg
Posts: 589 - Karma: 10
Anyone use Royale? Those fluffy little white cats on the label are so tempting! Wouldn't you just love to grab one of those cute little guys and whipe your cornhole with it. I think that would be a great finish to a good steamy dump!

BOIOIOIOIOIOING!!!

www.JIBCULTURE.com
Oct 4 2003 5:47PM
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LifeJacket
Posts: 2665 - Karma: 62
Dave Pauls, you ask the questions that nobody else would want to ask,

i use to wonder if anyone else 'Stands' while they wipe, I now know,


M.D. Faller
(medically dope)

'I'm still Ugly'
Oct 4 2003 5:59PM
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freeze_pooter
Posts: 3296 - Karma: 16
hahahahahahahahahahahaha great job on making this thread

'The whole fuckin' world's against us, I swear to God.' -Jay

'Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.' -Kitty

'Knife goes in, guts come out.' -Bart

'Hey, aren't you richard simmons?'
'Aren't you richard simmons best friend? Richard simmons.'

'A lot of people take a lot of time out of your life, at least this time you got a coupon.'
Oct 4 2003 6:28PM
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strode
Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14
i can't believe i have never seen this thread before... where the fuck was i? and now i will forever have the image of shortskichick having to sit on a public toilet to take a ''massive shit'' stuck in my head





Abba Zabba, you my only friend
Oct 4 2003 8:31PM
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icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
hahaha martin. im touched you would think of me at a time like this. and im laughing right now. and to clairfy things. i do more of the lean then straight up stand. and sometimes i look at porn while i poo.

and nate...you are soo soo sick. those kittens are for petting. not wipeing poo over.


...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up
So now I have to chop you up, chop you up
And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Oct 4 2003 9:45PM
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ElasmoSkiChick
Posts: 5089 - Karma: 28
Martin, how do you ALWAYS manage to spell Stacey's name without an E? My mom's name is Stacy, but Stacey is way cooler. Probably because she's my Halloween date


-Sarah Daulton Oates
a.k.a. Sarz or Oatesie
Oct 5 2003 2:33AM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
standing? Standing? Standing? No way. it doesnt work.

okay, i just gotta say...please stop making the FARP video things. Its cool if you wanna make them and all, but dont make a website about it etc. Or at least get better first. You are hurting the industry. When snowboarders see skiers like Fred and Randall doing stupid flailing 360 attempts 8 inches off the ground, they laugh there heads off, and skiing takes another blow. So please, if you wanna make your movies, thats cool. But just stop trying to get noticed. Thats all. Peace. P.S. Your spinning the wrong way.-sunvalleyskibum
Oct 5 2003 5:17PM
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hottie_hotterson_skier
Posts: 140 - Karma: 10
hahah this is one of the greatest threads ive read.... haha use charmin. its nice & soft... and also very thick.





*stevie*
Oct 5 2003 6:04PM
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icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
yea martin. my name is STACEY. not stacy.

teehee.


...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up
So now I have to chop you up, chop you up
And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Oct 5 2003 6:13PM
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SkierX
Posts: 16253 - Karma: 538
I don't feel like reading all this, lol so I'm just gonna say...

It's all about the combo. You start sitting. When you feel as though you have made significant progress, you rise up, finish the wipedown good, and then ook to make sure you're clean, then flush.

Best system evAr...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
~572nd Member of Newschoolers.com

'if you were doing one of them doggystyle and she flexed her butt cheeks, your dick would get ripped off.'
~Alpentalik on the subject of Serena and Venus Williams

'dave pauls has a baby sized wang so he gets baby sized tang'
~Casper
Oct 5 2003 6:54PM
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Freeskifro
Posts: 1191 - Karma: 10
page. i usually stand



Powderhound Productions by Fritz

'Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing'- Sir Thomas Beecham

'What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?' - Hobbes

'When you smoke herb it reveals you to yourself.'
Bob Marley

*-FRITZ-*

Oct 5 2003 7:50PM
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cams
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 26
ahh sweet man.. everytime i forget about this thread it pops back up.. i respect that


Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.
What time is it... saturday?
50 nuts in your mothafuckin' mouth
Oct 5 2003 9:06PM
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FalseTile
Posts: 446 - Karma: 11
I like to stand on one leg and get the other on top of the sink, so as to spread the ass cheaks appart.


I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be.
Oct 5 2003 10:55PM
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lineskier610
Posts: 1267 - Karma: 69
everyones got there own signature wipe
Oct 5 2003 11:00PM
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Crystal-needs-a-park
Posts: 9939 - Karma: 15
its situational... the stankiness of the can dictates anal positioning.
__________________
I'm concussed.

'Why aren't you wearing any pants Joe? - I tripped... and then I had to take them off to run faster out of the flames.'

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech
Oct 5 2003 11:01PM
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