1: Birth control isn't always 100%, like you mention, but I'm sure that a condom probably could have made a difference.
2. No, I suppose it is your choice, as it's your body. But I find that most of the time, men are only involved when it comes to the economics of the situation while the rest of his opinion is often left out.
There's been some recent media attention to men's rights in terms of abortion proceedings, check out:
http://www.nas.com/c4m/
I'm not advocating their message, but it does raise some interesting points about men's rights in abortion cases.
It's the National Center for Men's Voluntary Fatherhood Project website. One of the interesting points I found on their website was in their FAQ
"Q: Can't men avoid paying child support by not consenting to sex?
A: Many people are surprised to learn that men can't legally avoid parenthood by not consenting to sex. It's true! Here's a quote from a court case in Kansas:
"The issue of consent to sexual activity under the criminal statutes is irrelevant in a civil action to determine paternity and for support of a minor child born of such activity." [3]
Similar cases have happened in other states."
So while women can choose not to have children through rape, men do not have the same rights.
3. I'm not doubting that abortion is a hard decision for anyone to make, but its most likely the confusion of rationalization instead of the pursuit of logical choice...
Which is why I still think that it is a selfish cop out when people do not factor in the consequences of their actions.