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You know you're Canadian if...
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HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE A CANADIAN
You're not offended by the term 'HOMO MILK'.
You understand the phrase 'Could you passme a serviette, I just dropped my poutine on the chesterfield.'
You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
You know that a Mickey and 2-4's mean,'party at the camp, eh!!!'
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays (not vacation), with good cigars and no Americans.
You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You cried when you heard that 'Mr. Dress Up' died.
You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You brag to Americans that Mike Myers, Shania Twain, Jim Carrey &
more are Canadians.
You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
You know what a touque is.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always
pronounced
Zed.'
You live in a house with no front step, but the door is one meter
up from the ground.
Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but
requires 6
pages for hockey.
You know that the four seasons means: winter, still winter, almost
winter,
and roadwork.
You know that when it's 30 degrees outside, it's the warmest day
of the year.
You understand the Labatt Blue Commercials
You know how to pronounce and spell 'Saskatchewan'
You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada.'
You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
'Eh?' is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more
polite than'Huh?'
You don't know shit about fuck, my man-Robin Williams
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hahaha great list man, i laughed so hard eh, but you forgot about us canucks saying aboot.
'if you're in the mafia and they scratch your ass, but you don't scratch their ass back, THEY'LL FUCKING WACK YOU!'-This kid explain why this girl should let him touch her ass,
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what? cuba is is cool :P
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Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers
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Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
Im Scared
When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man
Doug- FUck, that kid had no style, he wasnt even as high as my left testicle.
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canadians are nice
My girlfriend told me to shove my skis up my ass
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thats cool, and i am not offended by any of it, cuz most of it is actually true... he he he. cept the part about the metre high doors, and i have never been to cuba.
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Official Co-leader of the Communist party of Newschoolers
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Work Pays off later, Laziness pays off now :D
If you cant say Fu** at least 10 times in one sentence, you must not really be upset.
Im Scared
When your going big mountain, off da cliffs, you gotta briing your first aid, your shovel, your water, your food, your helmet, your radio, all your safety gear, cuz diing aint livin man
Doug- FUck, that kid had no style, he wasnt even as high as my left testicle.
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we're also fuzzy
'if you're in the mafia and they scratch your ass, but you don't scratch their ass back, THEY'LL FUCKING WACK YOU!'-This kid explain why this girl should let him touch her ass,
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yeah it's all good. funny to both u.s and canada.
robin williams: canada is like a loft apartment over a really good party
You don't know shit about fuck, my man-Robin Williams
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/\ 'keep it down ehh!!?!'
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The French have only ever won ONE war, the French Revolution, because the opponent was also French.
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I couldn't agree with the list more.
'Girls aren't allowed to fart, they are supposed to smell all nice, and be sexy' - Shane McConkey, creator of the PMS Open.
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anybody see that 'national pretend canada is important day' thing on conan. prrrretty good
________________________
Big Gulps eh? Well cya later
anal sex is unnatural wheres progression with that - bibskis
A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program
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i love living in canada. with the good beer and weed and all.
you can't tell us we can't sell Pent House in Abbotsford!
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haha, ya.. i saw that little clip on conan. made me laugh very very hard.
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Thats actually a pretty good list!
__________________
A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
Bombing for Peace is like Screwing for Virginity.
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alexander keiths draft beer,mmmmmmmm so delicious and we have good weed and some hot bitches too such as pam anderson and the sperminator aka Peter North
'Now, I'm lubing up the little toy car so, I can put it in my bum' - Ryan Dunn
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sleeman's!
but any fine malt liqour is better than beer any day... unless you're rich or something.
Darryl Hunt
'if you're going to smoke pot - don't do it in your car...' pig's last words to us when he pulled us over.
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im in grade 12...
*All the 'Best Deceptions and the Clever Cover Story' awards go to You*
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The following Canadian things suck: Sleemans beer, Tim Hortons Coffee(Nothing else, just their shitty coffee), and the Montreal Canadians. That's it. Everything else kicks ass.
'I've had some good sex, but it's not very reliable. You can't phone up the sex report, ya know? You can phone up the snow report'...Crucial Mike
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I know what a touque is, but I'm not Canadian.
-Teddy
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Canada rocks! and so do the montreal Canadians you bitch, they just go down and out, they were in for 90 years and recently theyve been having trouble...
My god... i can't think of anything funny to say here
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i didn't cry, but i felt horrible when Mr. Dressup died! he was the man, child hood icon
RES
Keeping It Real on the East Coast
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I'm surprised most of that stuff was true!lol. Go hockey night in canada!EH!
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sounds like im canadian, but huh im not, so thats wrong, but then again i may be, who knows, jesus does, hes my friend.
The Idiots are taking over!
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wouldn't it suck if the Fonz was canadian, he'd have to say 'ehhhhhhhhh, eh?'
'if you're in the mafia and they scratch your ass, but you don't scratch their ass back, THEY'LL FUCKING WACK YOU!'-This kid explain why this girl should let him touch her ass,
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hmm only half implies to me.....which makes sense considering i am a dual citizen to US and Canada.....neato
RES
Keeping It Real on the East Coast
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yo dude - don't go dissing sleemans and timmie's coffee... they the shit dawg - fo rilla.
oh my.
Darryl Hunt
'if you're going to smoke pot - don't do it in your car...' pig's last words to us when he pulled us over.
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dont any of you ever talk about timmy hortons doughnuts..laugh at the coffee..but do not go talking shit about t hortons doughnuts...you will be pimp slapped
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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'
Viva la resistance!
'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!
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dude 18 yr old drinking laws only mexico beats that
you know its a 70s porn that your watching cuz the guy has sideburns on his dong
~Lateralis
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ya that's a good list
Seize the carp
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several canadians suck but for the most part canadians are hella cool and canada is a lot nicer than the US. The only problem is canadians are just so easy to make fun of, that they get all angry and defensive when you do because it happons so often and they are always the same jokes, 'hehe, say EH, oh its so funny because they say EH and not huh' think about it it is really no that funny. for the record i am an dirty american and really don't the us of a and all of its bull shit about liberty and freedom. personally i would rather live in Amsterdam. but enough all of my fellow americans wake up and relise that canada is a hell of a lot better than the us (except for celine dion, stupid show boating wench).
ps: I am going to be in vancover in a couple days, and i need some the hook up on some chronic, marijuana, refer, bud, etc who can hook me up.
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wow, i was expecting a retarded list.. but most of those are pretty accurate
canada, what?
Smoking pot leads to uhh... I forget.
'What time is it?.. Saturday?
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canandians are the best. when they say aboot and they are so much nicer than most americans
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like a dunkin doughnut..you take it grab it and it kind of starts to wrinkle...and the glaze kind of starts to peel off and thats not cool...timmy hortons are all together and they know how to make a doughnut
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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'
Viva la resistance!
'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!
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'You know that when it's 30 degrees outside, it's the warmest day of the year.'
Now that is fake, unless you mean 30o Celsius cause that would be almost the hottest day of the year.
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Heather: wrong place for clicker
Me: lol
Heather: wowa for a second i thought i typed in dicker
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'i did a front flip to hand stand'
- Rich
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U know your from Ontario when your wishin for snow/ice days in April...
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My halo needs some duct tape.
I'm tired of being an Angel I wanna be a Princess!
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The tim hortons my friends and I go to gives us free doughnuts. That's killer, but the coffee still sucks.
'I've had some good sex, but it's not very reliable. You can't phone up the sex report, ya know? You can phone up the snow report'...Crucial Mike
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U know ur in quebec when ur in secondary 5 not any grade over 6th
PAG
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canadian's say huh too you know.
Darryl Hunt
'if you're going to smoke pot - don't do it in your car...' pig's last words to us when he pulled us over.
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celine dion's so fuckin hot. i love it when shie sings god save america. but actually folks, canada should be a great country, it definately has the potential, but we have some of the most retarted, useless leaders in the world. i hope they are get wiped out by SARS.
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i make the holes in the dougnuts at tims horton.....why hello ladies
'Now, I'm lubing up the little toy car so, I can put it in my bum' - Ryan Dunn
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i am canadian and i dont know a single person that says aboot instead of about. except for newfys
AMA-RIP
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anne murray is the worst thing to come out of canada
________________________
Big Gulps eh? Well cya later
anal sex is unnatural wheres progression with that - bibskis
A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program
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i dont say zed in the alphabet then i get yelled at damn canadians eh!
This sucks i am not skiing
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were you tryin to be offensive ? but that was pretty funny i like canada !
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MATT ! why is there a chair in the shower !?
my legs got tired !
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apparently we do say aboot its just very suttle and only people from other places can hear it.
'if you're in the mafia and they scratch your ass, but you don't scratch their ass back, THEY'LL FUCKING WACK YOU!'-This kid explain why this girl should let him touch her ass,
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i met a guy jay at tremblant who was from ontario and he said it wasnt true about the aboot thing and a few minutes later i heard him say it.
why did the canadian father take his son to school?because they were in the same grade.
very sorry about that one
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'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend it feels like im cheating on my dick'
Viva la resistance!
'who cares what they think, i'm sure the slaves didn't like the plantation owners, but we all know who was living better.'PHROSTY!
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Taste Death. Live Life.
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Right on, 100% Canadian
Jackass the Movie was sweet
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Yeah most of that's true!lol! Do Americans not know how to spell or pronounce Saskatchewan? It seems so easy to me! Also all of Canada got really exited when we heard that canada was gonna be on The Simpsons. It was front page on the newspapers for a week! It was only on the Simpsons for about 2 seconds. Figures.
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Also I was talkin to this guy from USA on msn and I was like yeah I got to go chase away the polar bear outside my igloo. He's like wow I guess I should let you go! A polar bear! Wowee! It was funny
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yeah, when i was in arizona, some lady who worked in this store found out that we were from canada. she was like 'are igloos warm?' and 'are horses and buggies fast?' i wanted to slap her and tell her to go back to kindergarten..but i didnt (but i should have). americans have no idea what canada is like. p.s. who calls it a chesterfield?..common, its a damn couch!
the walrus is in the barn - brad holmes
All times are Eastern (-5)
