The truth about newschool

skiing is believing

Ski jumping originated in Norway many years ago, when a sobriety-challenged skier inadvertently skied off the edge of a clif, landed safely on the snow below and instead of going to church to thank god for his lucky escape from death, went back and did it again. He then persuaded some friends to join him in this areal lunacy to see who could jump the farthest while yoodeling 'O lady who'!!! This was the start of population control in Norway. This developed into freeskiing. The common factor being to have fun. If having fun is a strange concept to you- possibly because of a personal relationship that turned to slush-dont be discouraged. Whereas the slalom, downhill, and ski jump are referred to as 'disciplines' there is a minimum of self control in freeskiing. You just let your body express what it wants on skis, and if somebody says 'wow, how did you do that???' you know you have created a new trick. As a form of self expression, freeskiing depends a lot on having a self to express. If after introspection you find that you are essentially selfless, you may be better suited joining the FIS!!! But why would anyonne who asppires to being in their right mind choose to ski competitively? Where does the urge to compete come from when half the time competitors cant even see one another for the blizzard. Auto racing? yas, understandable. Its a natural transition from driving in rush hour trafic to competing in the demolition derby. Television, as always, is to blame. People see competitive skiing events where winning is glamorized by presentation of medals. People become podium addicted. Especially if they are a bit on the short side-face it, a dwarf- they will crave that chance to stand taller...on a box.
The lure of competitive skiing is as a way to get into adverising. As a moving billboard. After you reach a certain level ooof competitioon and are noticed by the sports media, all your equipment and clothing expenses will be covered by manufacturers to whom your body is a virtual reality TV commencial. Should you become a champion and stll and still have control of your muscles used for smiling you can make millions by endorsing products. What you actually enjoy endorsing is the cheques. The downside to sponsorship is that you must carry your brand name designer skis any time you appear in public or, in some contracts, when you go to bed with more than one person. Also, should your comsetitive skiing be terminated by a serious accident, spoonsors' agents will come a strip you of your jumpsuit, with threats to send you your mother's ear if you ever display their decal again.

the end