God this is so true.
One of my former college roomies is Gay. He's one of my best friends. He's been in a pretty serious relationship with a dude for something like 2 years now. He's straight as a rainbow. However, he can't fucking STAND the whole expectation that he's supposed to throw a feather boa around his neck, wear a green glittery tank top, tiny pink short shorts to show off his hairy ass, and go roller skating on the weekend, getting a tan while listening to ABBA on his neon orange walkman.
Dude is normal as any other guy. He watches hockey, he skis, he drinks beer, he plays Settlers of Catan, and he listens to classic vinyl. Shit, dude didn't even decorate his room when we lived together.
I went with him to Pride weekend in San Francisco about 4 years ago, and I could tell he was as uncomfortable as any other straight dude. Tolerant, but not even about to get into the thick of all the 'gayness'.
I feel like there are a lot of people from all sides of the gender gap really are just as aggressive and intolerant as the most rednecky christian 'god hates fags' idiots. And they do it to other gay people. People who may still just be getting comfortable with themselves in such an environment. I've heard so many horror stories of people being taken advantage of, and abused by these whackos who then go out and hit the streets whenever they hear somebody talking shit about gays. I really feel for those people who just want something they can belong to without feeling so starkly different to their peers. It's a really tough situation.